All I’m thinking of is this quote that I once read in the Bible..

"For everything there is a season,
And a time for every matter under heaven:
A time to be born and a time to die;
A time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
A time to kill and a time to heal;
A time to break down and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn and a time to dance;
A time to throw away stones, And a time to gather stones together;
A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to seek and a time to lose;
A time to keep, and a time to throw away;
A time to tear, and a time to sew;
A time to keep silence and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate,
A time for war, and a time for peace."
Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8

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To U

Sonnet 14 - If thou must love me, let it be for nought
XIV

If thou must love me, let it be for nought

Except for love's sake only. Do not say

'I love her for her smile—her look—her way

Of speaking gently,—for a trick of thought

That falls in well with mine, and certes brought

A sense of pleasant ease on such a day'—

For these things in themselves, Beloved, may

Be changed, or change for thee,—and love, so wrought,

May be unwrought so. Neither love me for

Thine own dear pity's wiping my cheeks dry,—

A creature might forget to weep, who bore

Thy comfort long, and lose thy love thereby!

But love me for love's sake, that evermore

Thou mayst love on, through love's eternity.

Elizabeth Barrett Browning

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Tomorrow Is Not Promised

Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there, they serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson or help figure out who you are and who you want to become. You never know who these people may be: your neighbor, child, long lost friend, lover, or even a complete stranger who, when you lock eyes with them, you know at that very moment that they will affect your life in some profound way. And sometimes things happen to you and at the time they seem painful and unfair, but in reflection you realize that without overcoming those obstacles you would have never realized your potential strength, will power, or heart.

Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of good or bad luck. Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul. Without these small tests, whether they be events, illnesses or relationships, life would be like a smoothly paved straight flat road to nowhere, safe and comfortable, but dull and utterly pointless. The people you meet who affect your life and the successes and downfalls you experience create who you are, and even the bad experiences can be learnedfrom, In fact, they are probably the poignant and important ones.

If someone hurts you, betrays you or breaks your heart, forgive them, for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to whom you open your heart. If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but because they are teaching you to love and opening your heart and eyes to things you would have never seen or felt without them.

Make every day count. Appreciate every moment and take from it everything that you possibly can, for you may never be able to experience it again. Talk to people you have never talked to before, and actually listen, let yourself fall in love, break free and set your sights high. Hold your head up because you have every right too. Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself, for if you don't believe in yourself, no one else will believe in you either.

You can make of your life anything you wish.

Got it on an email 2 years ago from a friend :)

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Though I won't see falling snow..

So its the 1st of December already..
I Love this Month....

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Deja Vu, or what?!

Today, as I was taking a quick glimpse of the lecture’s hall, I saw someone I never thought he’d be around at that exact timing. Simply because it’s not his normal attitude to attend such lecture. Anyways, I wonder what made me notice the cloth he was wearing, I mean this is not my usual to notice such things, but so I did.
And actually, still I didn’t pay much of attention to that and turned around to focus with the material discussed. Then the door was opened just after the lecture finished, finding that very same person entering from the door!!! To my surprise he was wearing the very same cloth I thought I saw him wearing minutes ago.
Take into your consideration that the hall got only one door in the front. While I was gazing at the entering and leaving flow of people as I was waiting for my friend. So no way that person left then re-entered.

I know it’s a trivial something to mention but it really made me wonder all day long, how could I see him while he’s not there in the 1st place ?!

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Email :$

And after a long time now, I emailed Osama on “late night cartoon”.. Thought to share it with you :)

Dear Osama,
May be as you read this email I’d be fast asleep, and may be sitting wide awake counting some shooting stars I’ve seen lately. May be I’d be feeling the normal autumn cold or the warmth of my heart.
Its been a while I haven’t emailed you, in fact its been a long time I was away. Away from my usual life, the usual faces and things I lived with for the passed 20 years or so. Suddenly, I stumbled “change” on my way. Can’t hide how much I feel happy lately, happy like I’ve never been before. Last 2 days, along with friends, we’ve been celebrating the blossoms of the sleepless nights working in the past 5 month. But that wasn’t it after all. I’ve just discovered the meaning of being a team turning in friends then brothers and sisters. I’ve met new people who twisted the very same “ME” I thought I know. I figured out some pure meanings that were hiding deep inside.
And though I know they won’t be listening to you tonight, I felt I have to declare it out loud how much I cherish the past 2 days. How much I care for them. And how much I feel disappointed on the thought that as the world keeps Turing, we might lose each other along the way. One day we are together, the next we can’t figure out where our feet are heading forward or backward to. We might meet in the middle someday, and we might end the journey with the memory that we’ve been together once upon a dream.
Have been too romantic to say so?!
I don’t know, I mean, I don’t care. I love my new friends. I love them true. And no matter where we are going to, I just wish them from all my heart a life full of love, laughter and shooting stars in their skies.
Good night Osama, Good night Cairo..
Sweet dreams…

PS: Osama, for the sake of the good old days, could you play me “seeking you again” as my usual.. or “Can’t smile without you”….

Here is Osama's reply:

Don’t fall asleep yet. But isn’t it how it works out in life. We build up new friendships, new brotherhoods, sisters, brothers, and close people. But as time goes by you change and people change especially when you are young because each of you grows on his own special way and things become different. But all the same, you may try as much as you want or as much as you can to hold on that kind of friendship as long as you are enjoying it. If not, then hold on to the feeling of it and keep a picture in your mind of this group of people you enjoy being with for quite sometime.
As for your request, we’ll see about that. But for the time being I’ll be playing you a song that relates very much to what you are telling me.
“its all about us”.. T.A.T.U.

Thank you Osama, you made my day today...

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I've been humming all day long :)

THIS IS MY SONG

PETULA CLARK

Why is my heart so light

Why are the stars so bright

Why is the sky so blue

Since the hour I met you
Flowers are smiling bright

Smiling for our delight

Smiling so tenderly

For all the world, you and me
I know why the world is smiling

Smiling so tenderly

It hears the same old story

Through all eternity
Love, this is my song

Here is a song, a serenade to you

The world cannot be wrong

If in this world there is you
I care not what the world may say

Without your love there is no day

So, love, this is my song

Here is a song, a serenade to you
I care not what the world may say

Without your love there is no day

So, love, this is my song

Here is a song, a serenade to you

Special thanks goes to "MoonLightShadow" for her help :)

Cheers Moon :)

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Don't think.. Send me MSN nudge ;)

I was thinking today, and even if they made voice / video chat much easier than today. If they enhanced the methods used; I think I’d still prefer writing chat along with those lil emotions we use almost all the time.
Even while I am talking to people face to face; I sometimes blubber out “LOOL” or “Hehe” through our talk. Sometimes I visualize the “blush emotion :$ ” when I feel embraced; and “teased red face :@ ” when I want to show someone how offended or how annoyed I feel. Let alone the " :P " smily.. I can write a WHOLE book :) :) : )
To the extend I stated once on radio, if I’d ever nominate myself to any voting ceremony: I would use “the over smiling face :D" as my symbol. I feel warmth whenever I see that shining smile. When I turn around to have our eyes meet anywhere, in an ad. Or a hanging picture, I wonder why my heart start beating fast.. *Pump Pump Pump* ??

I’ve been attached to my MSN messenger to the extend I’d get pissed off if I stayed away for a couple of hours! Or if my connection is halted and I can’t get through; *as how it’s happening to me last couple of days already*. All day long I am signed in as “away”, and in fact I’d be really away, I don’t chat *for I don’t find my will to talk most of the times, or for I don’t find my dear friends in the 1st place* but I would still keep myself logged in to feel secure !!
You’d never imagine how hard I feel when I get disconnected un-intentionally! I’d be banging my head to the nearest wall till I manage to sign in again! *Yuppieeeee*

My MSN nicknames actually represent my every current state I am passing by. Sometimes it would be less than 2 hours gap between changing my nick name according to how I feel, or what I am passing by or the song I am listening to. I write it as if I am talking to someone, I just blubber out whatever going on my mind, no matter how random or scattered it might look! No matter how long or short.. funny or depressed. I just write it out confessing my every feeling to the whole world!

Sometimes I get people on my list asking: “what’s wrong Blue?”
And tell you, deep down inside me, I feel happy for that!.. Somehow it’s a privilege I keep for myself. I even admire my MSN than my cell phone!!
Distant kind of friendship has always been my favorite. At 1st it was friends through the radio *I’ve gained a lot of cherished people into my life*. Then it turned out to have some of them online as well ;)
In addition to other usual friends I know for real :)

Never the less, after each time I curse the day I used the stupid MSN messenger as an IM.. I say secretly between me and myself: “Nop, Viva virtual world. Viva MSN!!”

Tada, signing off (^_^)

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My life is turning into a jigsaw puzzle with missing pieces. Between assumptions and expectations; worries and certainty I am losing the way. Last couple of days, nagging issues were imposing there existence every where I go, suppressing my free thoughts to breath! I reached the peak when I couldn’t control things anymore; then steadily holding the problem seeking my relief.
So asking my mind with silence as a reply; couldn’t give me clues for how to reach the clues itself! Trembling for a while, that’s how I felt, with a deep anger. Hate it when I feel that lost. Hate it when I can’t figure out the signs along my sight. Hate it when I have to hate.
Knocking heart asking, yet I felt even worst! Thoughts are blurred with a fuzzy picture of a smile. Shadows of good times and laughter hanging along the road. I can’t work fine with such kind of problems. I remember half the picture and leave the rest; or neglect it *if I’d admit*.

Tell me; how to know what is wrong and what is right?! how to decide which way to choose if all ways are blocked?! And if I am drifting aimlessly taken by clashing waves; how could I find my way home?
I am just a human; I make mistakes; that’s true! Yet tell me how to stop my inner self torture.
And if I knew your answer; tell me: will I like it?!
I can’t handle a new hurt to pass by my life, I’ve seen a lot before. Different portraits for the same faces in my every nightmare.

I’ve lost before, I’ve lost and I’ve cried. I convinced myself I am too strong to face the world alone. Yet sometimes I discover I am not. If it weren’t for the pride I keep for myself, I would have stated clear the wonders truing my life upside down!
Expectedly, I feel weak in such a way I fight for a word to ease my mind. Expectedly I feel thirsty in such a way I seek dreams won’t come true.
Some cases can pass by time, but looks mine is left to stay un-resolved at least for the time being.

Heart, don't fail me now!
Courage, don't desert me!
Don't turn back now that we're here
People always say
Life is full of choices
No one ever mentions fear!
One step at a time,
One hope, then another
Who knows where this road may go
Back to who I was
On to find my future,
Things my heart still needs to know
Yes, let this be a sign!
Let this road be mine!
Courage see me through
Heart I'm trusting you
To bring me home...
At last! (#)

(#) From the cartoon movie “Anastasia” OST
Aaliyah - Journey to the Past

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Collecting stars

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Not Back Yet..

On my way back home I was thinking of something pretty interesting, merely “the emptiness of our lives”. *Exactly! Just thinking of the emptiness of life!*

OK, I enjoyed my time today, to start. We had a dish party for iftar with the organizing team members of the ACES conference in collage. That was grand! If you’d see the mountains of food and drink brought there!! And the cheers in people’s tone and smiles!! Even the 2 surprises I met:
1. to know the flyer, the poster and the brochure at last saw the light. And the work of a whole summer vacation is finally printed out and looks gorgeous as well :) *I know our committee deserves all the best ;) *
2. the thing that touched me but never crossed my mind before: to know that some people would know me that much! To find someone coming to you and saying: are you this and that.. then the 2nd to ask.. then the 3rd.. that made me think, who am I for people to care!
However, all in all it was going ALRIGHT! i.e. going fine.. going normal.. going average.. wasn’t superb but going just FINE.. *why are you shouting?!*

If I told you: it wasn’t up to my expectations it would be a lie, because I haven’t thought of it in the 1st place. They informed us there is an iftar together and I said: Hurray! Then I went. I didn’t think either what to bring with me, I didn’t think whom to meet or what to say! I haven’t prepared a speech or ironed my dress and obviously polished my shoe !!
Could be because of the piles of work I am left to do, so I had to block any exterior kind of thoughts or dreams temporarily *wonders for how long* and could be I blocked my thoughts and dreams intentionally and on purpose.

Sometimes you need to feel you don’t feel, or you’d think you can rest from thinking. And may be that was the reason.
How many times I promised myself of things, yet never came true and may be won’t? How many times I convinced myself I am going to have all the fun of the world yet can’t keep any for myself :) ?
Nop, I am not upset or angry again... for I already knew myself this way for long time and I don’t have the will to change.
-- WHY?! *are you asking?*
Even if you are not asking, let me tell you something.. I feel tired. I feel extremely exhausted and wish to have a deep sleep. That feeling has captured me since a time too far away too remember. Then after I wake up I discover that I did nothing after all!
That is the nothingness of life!

You’d walk then you’d run in a race, and wish upon a star to enjoy your time, then you’d discover all of a sudden it wasn’t but a mirage for an illusion you wish to dream of sometime.
OK, its your right to believe in a better future and a prosperous present. Its your right to believe the picture is not as gloomy as I am describing, because IT IS NOT.. but suddenly you’d discover it as some water slipping between your fingers and you’re watching. Or a scented smoke, then it is no where after all..

-- Did I write all that!
-- Looks like I did.

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Random bits and pieces..

Yesterday;
I had to visit my uncle, and returned very late at night. Its hard to see my uncle this way, mm.. your heart will grief his whole situation. However, the only one thing I never imaged is the changes I saw in my cousin’s attitude. Somehow he turned into a religious person I never knew before *masha2 ALLAH* .. suddenly he gave up his nasty routine and turned to face God with grief of what he did all his life, fear of what to become of him in the future and a hope to have God’s help and mercy to move on forward. You can’t imagine this serenity I can feel from his tone of voice.. just like miracles really do come true and not just for Ramadan..

Returned back home, to be told by a friend that he un-expectedly discovered my blog, in one of these weirdest coincidences you might think of. With little talks about our latest he told me: last time we talked you were confused, now I touched some changes in you. I got that through your words on the blog..!

Totally exhausted, hardly could I close my eyes to sleep.. so long I’ve hadn’t had this intimate sit with myself.. just me, myself and I.. so long I miss talking to myself, but things are always in rush..
Sometimes you feel yourself stuck in a life jam.. you are looking around to find you are surrounded with hundreds of other-selves standing around you in random separated lines and curves, however, you feel you are alone in a wide desert watching sun setting on you, half sleepy half awake.. believe you understand what is going on, while in fact you are the most ignorant creature you might ever meet in your short life!

Sadly, I couldn’t enjoy the moment of self talking.. I closed my eyes…

Today;
Wake up still feeling exhausted.. but I had to get dressed and catch the 1st session in our new training about Human resources management.
How so ironical! Didn’t I tell you: we know nothing about ourselves thought we pretend we do ?!
I am taking off my stuff and things heading for a place to try to understand myself!
As if myself is a total stranger than whom I am and so I need a hand to dig deeper and discover treasures, I might die and still they’d be kept hidden unknown.. un-realized.. un-used..
God!

The trainer said few outlines as an intro for our next session and the strategy we are going to walk by. I like the material going to be discussed *in sha2 ALLAH* mind mapping, NLP, analyzing characteristic traits.. he even did a simple experiment on one of the other members.. it was a shock for some of us!

Strangely, I felt I can understand this man.. he said he has strong telepathy.. but I say no.. he has strong sense of observation and prediction to the other response due his many experience. Yet, something inside me insets to refuse fully truth that person.

As soon as he finished, I ran out of the building. Somehow I don’t like standing with the folk. I like them .. some even I like alot.. however I felt I need to breath fresh air for a while.. so hard to feel suffocating in every place you go.. so hard to find the comfort with anything away from people’s existence in your horizon.
NOP, its not complex, I reckon.. and its not missing my confidence either.

I’ve been asked more than once.. “why do U like hiding away?”
And still and for always I find no answers available.. so without any bye byes I left..

Luckily, As I reached the station I found the CTA standing for me *please stop the envy green eyes :P :P*
On my way back I was thinking of my coming days.. how could I ever benefit my life?!
How to be productive wither for my own self or my nation or religion?!
I’ve tapped different routs in life. Not so many, but quite enough for a 20 years old girl. I imagined I saw myself at the end of some, and imagined I got astray in the rest.. yet after one wake up and one eyes closed.. I get lost between both.
Am I as good as I think?! Am I as talented as others repeat?! Or am I as simple as I am living?! And till where will I reach with my daily changes?!
And why don’t I find answers to the questions I have in mind?! Is it that difficult to watch a light hinting at the right way, or should I just walk in others’ shadows footsteps?!

Being effective is a difficult process to take, and even the more difficult is deciding which way you want to be effective and recognized in!!
Will I ever find mine?!

As I retuned to open the front door of my home, I couldn’t help but sleeping.. it wasn’t actually a sleep, but rather a nap or a state between being wide awake and asleep.. a state you got mixed up between reality and virtual hallucinations. I could see myself walking somewhere, and I could feel my feet paralyzed standing still, fixed to the ground.. I could hear my loud yelling and could feel how mute I turned out to be..

Am I sad or desperate or feeling low today?!
Actually no, I don’t think I was any of the above.. in fact I was happy.. happy again and for no proper reason. The same sort of happiness I feel each time I know I am going to go through an expedition to the unknown. And so I was happy, even till this moment when I am writing this few lines and listening to some few light melodies from my new age music collection, I still feel happy and relaxed though!
Could be I’d finish up my work today to wake up tomorrow as gloomy as I usually feel, and could be I’d wake up tomorrow still as happy as I am feeling now.

Going there is a true adventure I like doing from time to time. And even running away is yet another adventure I like living. Convincing myself that some how some might be asking .. :)

It was like watching my very own life raft floating away towards the open sea. And yet somewhere in mind's eye I thought I could see the faintest outline of land. Then it came to me that maybe that's the only thing life rafts are supposed to do. Taking the shipwrecked, not exactly to the land, but only in view of the land. The final mile being theirs alone to swim.

~*~ Anon

I find the great thing in this world is not so much where we stand, as in what direction we are moving: To reach the port of heaven, we must sail sometimes with the wind and sometimes against it, but we must sail, and not drift, nor lie at anchor.

~*~ Oliver Wendell Holmes

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Quoting Me..

When you all of a sudden feel you want to keep scilent..
you HAVE to keep scilent..

When you all of a sudden feel you want to say you are sorry..
You OUGHT to say you're sorry..

But when you all of a sudden feel you want to say you are happy..
I wonder why your heart keeps beating fast >>>


PS: I have the 1st choice now in mind :S

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Talking about 1st day in Ramadan isn’t an easy task. For the flood of feelings you have can keep you silent for a whole year, till the next 1st day of Ramadan !And due that exact feeling and the sudden awareness of piling up things to do wither in collage or in normal life, in addition to my terrible flu.. I guess I’d be keeping low profile in the blogging arena for a while.

Till my next real come back… keep your faith growing, keep the smile flourishing your faces and keep peace all around the place..
May Allah bless you all, and grand you his mercy and forgiveness.
And may you reach a place you’ve never dreamt of before.

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I already dared to...

After a day like today, keeping silent would be better..
thanks, you already cheered me up.. Though i bet, you'll never know!

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Autumn

Today is the 1st day in Autumn, my favorite season.

Let me enjoy the chilling out breeeeze....

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Top of the world..

Such a feelin's coming over me
There is wonder in most ev'ry thing I see,
Not a cloud in the sky got the sun in my eyes,
And I -- won't be surprised if it's a dream.

Ev'rything I want the world to be,
Is now coming true especially for me,
And the reason is clear - It's because you are here,
You're the nearest thing to heaven that I've seen

I'm on the -- top of the world lookin'
down on creation and the only explanation I can find
Is the love that I've found, ever since you've been around
Your love's put me at the top of the world

Something in the wind has learned my name,
and it's tellin' me that things are not the same,
In the leaves on the trees and the touch of the breeze,
there's a pleasin' sense of happiness for me.

There is only one wish on my mind,
When this day is through I hope that I will find,
That tomorrow will be just the same for you and me,
All I need -- will be mine if you are here.

I'm on the -- top of the world lookin'
down on creation and the only explanation I can find
Is the love that I've found, ever since you've been around
Your love's put me at the top of the world

I'm on the -- top of the world lookin'
down on creation and the only explanation I can find
Is the love that I've found, ever since you've been around
Your love's put me at the top of the world



Top of the world -- The Carpenters 

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Hushshshsh!

I was wondering between TV stations when suddenly I saw a face I know by heart. I lingered a while and remembered “it’s the movie ‘Anna and the king’”
I’ve always held myself back from watching this particular movie for personal reasons.
However, I couldn’t resist the angelic look on “Jodie Foster” ‘s face.. so I sat to watch.

Tell you what, I didn’t regret not watching that before.. for its not as magnificent as “The king and I” .. Tell me who can compare “Yul Brynner”..???
OHHHH! “etcetera, etcetera..”
the only one good thing was Jodie, and nothing more..

***

I couldn’t forget the passion in your eyes when u told me you want to see that movie..
But you went so fast..
May God rest your soul in peace..

***

as I was writing this, I had the news that the grandpa of one of our colleagues and a dear brother of mine passed away.
Then everything went Hushshshshsh!
May God rest his soul in peace as well

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Scattered

Yesterday..

I went with my mother for shopping since a very long time. I had fun really, though I am not a shopping-fan. I just hate it especially if its cloth shopping. Thank God it was just to the near by groceries.. But I enjoyed my time with her exchanging some wicked giggles gossiping about my brother and father :) Ain’t those moments so cherished, I wonder why don’t I seek living them for real!

*****

Today..

I was surprised to hear about the new movie “Phantom of the opera”. I know I am always out of date when it comes to cinema or movies, but this one stroked me.
When I 1st heard the musical play starting Sarah Brightman, I truly fell in love with her voice and the style.
Now I got a movie I am passionately looking forward to see.

***

I was in another meeting in collage with my publications committee members.
Tell you days do have great effect on melting the ice between people. Who would say we’d turn out to be such cool buddies, enjoying our time together to the utmost!
So far I am so happy, content and satisfied to meet such people in my life..
I sincerely like their presence along my road of life..
I love you guys.. all of you..
May God bless you for me :)

*****

Right now..

I am listening to a musical master piece called “sometimes… someone” by the great composer I just told you about “Yiruma”. And with each note played on the piano I feel as if my heart is as light as a feather.. I have this feeling of the belief I-am-ready-to-fly sneaking back to me.

I spent nearly 4 minuets –the duration of that piece- just writing the above two lines. Then I replayed, relaxed and closed my eyes..
I saw me flying in space.. jumping between the stars and dancing a lost ray of sunlight..
Some creepy feelings are getting into my heart lately yet I can’t define what is going on. I’m not armed enough to face the next battle alone.. and I don’t have the courage to withdraw.. I believe its my longing to get inside and take the risk.
It might result in a broken heart.. a lost soul or sad memories. And it might result in a dance with a morning twilight.

******

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Music agina and again..

It all started last year when I watched 2 of my favorite foreign series so far: “winter sonata” and “autumn in my heart”. 2 Korean serieses were played on our national TV, as a sort of cultural exchange treaty between the 2 countries.
That was my real 1st introduction to the south Asian culture *music and entertainment*.
I never tried to search or learn anything about Korea, Japan, Taiwan or any other country. i.e. I never cared.
OK! I admit how stupid I was not to dive into such rich culture!!
I’ve already wasted 20 years of my life stuck into the-one-culture-attitude.. which I truly regret ..

I won’t say I am familiar with their culture still, but all I can tell they deserve whatever position they’ve reached after all.
Those who took good care of their life with all its aspects: economically, industrially, culturally, literature… should be on the top.

Right now I newly discovered 3 of the treasured Japanese figures: Jo Sung Mo, Yiruma and Yuhki Kuramoto..
I believe if you are into such type of slow sentimental music.. you should give yourself a try.. especially these:
Yiruma-Kiss the rain
Yiruma-Small Steps
Yiruma-Dream
Yiruma-The moment
Yiruma-Shining Smile
Yiruma-Wait there
yuhki kuramoto-Dawn
yuhki kuramoto-lonely sailing
yuhki kuramoto-virgin road
yuhki kuramoto-stilness
yuhki kuramoto-peacefully
yuhki kuramoto-odine
yuhki kuramoto-sentimental moment
Jo Sung Mo- Jal Gah Yo Nae Sa Rang
Jo Sung Mo-Do you know
Jo Sung Mo-Never
Korean Drama - Autumn in my Heart - Endless Love (eurodance)

If you want the latter, just email me and I’ll deliver it right away to your inbox ..
You can still search for more.. Those people really deserve your effort *take my words*




Time to go.. 73’s

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for piano lovers..

For those piano music lovers.. here is a site I ran across yesterday.. it contains a LOT of marvellous musical pieces, just try it.. I bet you'll never regreat

click here

BTW: its mostly japanese OSTs.. so don't panic, try it, its truely L.O.V.E.L.Y.

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Gaza

This post is only a humble and simple comment on Olivia's post, trying to show the other side of the story.
*Any one is welcomed to join in the discussion by the way*

I wasn't surprised when I read Olivia's post as much as I was annoyed. And though I know my words are a bit out of date, but I felt its my duty to show the real situation back in Palestine.. or as how its world widely acknowledged as Israel.

I won't start by saying "this land is ours and I'm glad its back", I won't say as well "that's what the Israeli's deserve to be kicked out of Palestine", nor I'd complete by saying "I hate the Israelis" or all theses blah blahs.. For I am deadly sure that this act is not meant for peace; Take my words on that. No one would ever know the Jews as much as the Egyptians would, ever since Prophet Moses till the great 1973 war. *Tell me have you ever heard about that war before?!*

I am not preacher or a racist; I am but a simple Egyptian, Arab citizen who knows her history quite well. And I would like you Olivia, or any other reader to ask your Jews-Israelis friends this very simple question: "where are your ancestors' graves?"
I reckon they'd tell you in Holland, Poland or Russia most probably.
But any Palestinian, even the immigrants or the refugees, Ask them: "where are your ancestors' graves?" , they'd tell you in Gaza, Ram Allah, Jerusalem… or any other corner in Palestine.. Not only this, you may find with them a key for their house that was demolished by another Israeli bulldozer to build their settelments, claiming its their historical land. While it's not their neither in history nor right now.

All what you see is but a dirty play, believe me. Even it was written in one of the biggest Israeli's newspapers, that what you've seen was but an act to gain the world's sympathy that they are the men of peace.
But tell me if they really want peace, why had they invaded Sinai in the year 1967? or even more, tell me, why are they demolishing the Palestinian houses and building their own settlements?
Tell why Rachel Corrie died under their bulldozers *on purpose* defending a Palestinian family from demolishing their house. At a time the Israelis claimed to the media: she died by mistake!!

Not even that, have you ever seen the pictures on that site before?
http://walidos.free.fr/voila_ce_que_israel_fait.htm
It's for a martyr called "Mohamed el Dorra", a young boy who was shot in cold blood in his father's lab by another dirty shot form an Israeli solider. They didn’t neither care that he was a young boy nor that he was between his father's arms. And he was murdered in the street..
Moreover, Despite that this incident wasn't only photographed but video taped as well, yet they got the guts to spread the story on media as an Israeli child killed by a barbaric Palestinian.. *by the way, I knew about that story from some American friends I knew back then. You can check it out*
And still hundreds and hundreds of Palestinians are killed everyday, while the world is left as silent paralyzed audience.

We are in front of an organized crime, not only against the Arabs, but the whole humanity. In fact Media corrupt and faking the truth aren't just ordinary crimes but a disaster as well, that if it didn't touch your part of the world now, it would in the future.

I won't finish my words by saying I was happy for what happened.
Truely I wasn't happy that anyone, no matter s/he is/was, have to leave their place.. But I would like to tell you, leaving the settlements in Gaza that's been for 10 or 15 years maximum isn't as harsh and cruel as forcing the real owners of the land *the Palestinians* to leave their homeland, and to leave their houses that they knew no other all their life long. *check the pictures on that post by the way*

I know that its our fault *as Arabs* from the beginning till the end, that we didn’t defend our rights in the proper way. Its our fault we rested our case in some hands we believe in their honesty, yet crying over spelt milk we discovered the opposite when it was really too late.



PS: to make things clear, I am not against Jews, I hate all sorts of racism especially when it is connected to religion. I totally believe that anyone should have the right to embrace which ever religion or ideology s/he thinks most suits his/her way of life.
But I only meant in my lengthy post: the ones who claim Palestine to be anything but a pure Arab land.


God Bless you all.

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Last night..

It was over 3 Am. when I went to bed and still I didn't wish to sleep. So I switched off the lights, and listened to radio thru my brother's walkman. There were some very beautiful classics on "The musical program" radio station. I opened the window for a hopeless street lamb light to join in my lonesome party.
You know, I always liked summer nights no matter how hot the weather may seem. I love to stay up late and gaze at the vast emptiness of the universe, share the stars in their dance, talk a while with the moon or simply enjoy the silence on my own.
I won't forget my mother when she all the time describes me as a night owl. No matter how early I wake up, I still keep open eyes till very late at night *very often till watching dawn break*, then I keep wandering aimlessly all day long.

Only then I heard a piece on radio "Friends over troubled water". I looked up to the ceiling, then turned to the skies above, and back to the ceiling. After a long sigh I asked myself: "And how many friends I got?!!"
It's very true I have so many friends in my life. It's true I find it easy to gain friendships in no time, yet how many were really bonded to me and for how long?
Right now I am in the process of losing 2 special people we had un-forgettable memories together, yet gaining the trust of other two. *Which leaves me partially happy!*

However I wonder where lies the problem? Why can't I have permanent fine relationships? Is it me or is it life's way of treating us?
Sometimes I hate myself like no one can, and other times I love myself to arrogance itself. I see myself as an angle and the devil himself in the very same picture's portrait.
You know when you feel you are the victim and the murderer at the same time?!

Suddenly I felt I want to take it all off me and cry it out. I felt my heavy heart is aching again. I can't bear it alone all the time, and I don't want anyone to share. I enjoy the silence, thought I wish to have a helping hand around.
I felt puzzled with thoughts out of order and a soul that's bored to death from life and the living..

Surprisingly the legendary "Spanish eyes" tune joined me from radio and I sung it along..
"Blue.. Spanish eyes..
Tear drops are falling from your Spanish eyes..
Please.. Please don't cry..
Its just adios and not goodbyes.."
Then I heard "Strangers in the night", "Sous le ceil de Paris", "Yesterday", "La vie en rose"…

I said to myself: truly everything happens for a reason, a season or a life time..
However, I wish upon a star I'd ever figure it out before too late..

Time to go… 73's
Lasto-adri *Blue*
----------------------------
PS: I had a disaster with my old hard disk.. Thank ALLAH for everything after all..

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And it was like shooting with a broken arrow. Surprisingly, it reached the target!!!

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Finito..

I just finished reading “The Alchemist” by “Paulo Coelho”, and tell you after reading, I discovered it doesn’t really deserve all the over whelming propaganda it got in Egypt (for instance).
Yes, it beholds a philosophical spirit through out the story, or never the less, philosophical spirit without a story. And yes, Coelho was trying to discuss a pretty interesting aspects of life. Yet, I have to admit: I didn’t like it that much for I didn’t feel it in the first place.

As a starter the cover’s design was pretty amazing. I felt what I was going to read before hand. *Which for me leaves a perfect impression.*

If we went further I would tell you, it’s divided into 3 parts. The 1st part: before Santiago (the protagonist) meets The Alchemist. And the 2nd after they meet together in the middle of life’s road. Then the silliest of all “The Epilogue”.
The 1st part is a bit too long as an intro, the 2nd is mainly the story itself (which is a bit shallow). Too many un-necessarily details, too many repetitions as well through out the way. Simple things can be adopted by the reader, yet Coelho insisted on interpretations. *Which gets on my nerves truly!*
Then the Epilogue which ruined the excitement of the final phrase “and he knew where to find his treasure”

I liked the main plot: discovering one’s true connection with nature, and his/her hidden powers and abilities *how so very true.* Almost all of us still un-aware of how we might meet our own selves. How to discover your most distinguished side as a human being and a living creature and how to understand the secrets of the universe around you.
Coelho succeeded ultimately in conveying that to us.

And again, what pissed me off was the mis-understanding of this part of the Arab lands, and again picturizing Egypt as a desert, some sands and a beautiful scenery of the pyramids *full stop*, that made me, sometimes, wish to tear the pages while reading. Even the mis-understanding of Islam in almost all the novel’s pages was the most provoking of all.

One last thing, I liked hell of quotations in the novel. Almost all the novel can be considered beautiful quotations on its own.

Anyhow, after all what I said, reading “The Alchemist” was an exciting experience, that no matter what was my opinion, I believe it still deserves reading it.
*Thanks friend :)*


P.S.: to know more about Coelho... click here..

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Another story...

After years of reading Arabic literature, I said to myself one day: "why not try English novels?!"
Actually that was considered a risk for me, as back then my English wasn't as good to read a whole novel on my own. However, as the English proverb says :"what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger", I started wondering between book shelves, wishing to pick a nice one as a trial.
Yet there popped up another problem, I wasn’t qualified enough to make a choice. I never thought of knowing more about foreign literature, apart from some Arabic translated novels, or hearing some names of known writers and novelists like "Charles dickens", "George Orwell", "Shakespeare" or "Bernard show"
People who I already studied some of their work in school and didn't much tasted!

So I browsed aimlessly, until I found this one "Fire in the hills" by "Anna Myers".

Tell you the truth; I picked it up for I was dazzled by the cover at first sight.
And the 1st thing I did after I borrowed the book, is I looked for my cozy bed, my lamb light, then down to reading.
Tell you another truth, this novel is 12 chapters, and till the 6th chapter I could get in nothing so far. The characters were too many that I couldn't focus or take grips of what was going on.
Yet every time I think of quitting, I got charmed with the cover again and the unique atmosphere surrounds me, pushed me to continue, a page after a page and a chapter after another. Even though I didn't understand a word, I was happy still, that was a forward step to challenge myself. I can make it someday

I started by putting my dictionary beside me, and then make a full list of the characters and their significant events and description, trying to put things together. And believe me, I DID IT !!

Seven continuous nights struggling, until I got the main plot with the final line in the 12th chapter: "The war is over!"
And tell you what, I found tears sprung from my eyes unconsciously. I can finally make it on my own.

After exactly 2 years of fight with other novels, I returned again to the same library and borrowed the same book. It was much easier then, that I discovered it's much like as a youngster's book.
However, after understanding, I even loved it more than before. So beautiful and simple story of a young lady trying to handle the responsibility of her family after her mother passed away. With her daily and perpetual changes and problems, you feel you are a part of her family.

And that was the another story of the dearest books to my heart.

Time to go… 73's

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Bravo Mr.NasrALLAH

I really REALLY liked Mr. Nasr ALLAh in his speech today..
He understands the game.. and deserves it ALL..

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The small things that make me happy...

I love it, when I wake up in the morning to find the sun shining for me, like people smiling at my face. I love it, when I see flowers dancing with the breeze, like people cheering me all the way. I love it, when a friend winks to me, and another cares to ask "how do I do".. I love our moments of innocence, when we laugh from our hearts, just like babies do..I love it, every time I learn a new thing, I feel I can fly with my new butterfly wings, even if my feet are kept firmly to the ground..

And when I return back home, and my mother brings in my cup of tea.. her tender kiss and when she takes me to her warm lab.. I love, when its the end of the day, I sit beside my radio with my book, and listen to my favorite song..

I thank the Almighty for these blessings I have..
I close my eyes and smile at the small tiny things in my life, which make me happy…

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What a song!!!

Yesterday was one of my worst days.. I got to tell you..
The workshop session was so dull, though I liked the material we had lots.. Yet, there was something hidden that made me feel uncomfortable.. I don't know really..

Anyway, Thanks to Shex, I got to know one of the very best Arabic songs I've ever listened to ..
It happened that couple of weeks ago, I heard a bit of that beautiful song on VOR (the voice of Russia).. and as a nagging thought, it was spinning in my head over and over again.. Till I discovered that he knows all about it, and I never knew that..
So HURRAY!!

Here is the link if you want to listen to it.. And believe me, even if you can't understand Arabic.. Just listen to the enchanting music.. Let it get through your veins.. Let it take you away to a beautiful place, neither me nor you, had ever seen it before.. then tell me what you think..

Ommi-Marsel KHalifa.rm

E-N-J-O-Y

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Who am I?!!!

Why Do I Worry My Myself With...
What makes you you and makes me me?!!!

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Is it really Breaking!!!

After i read this breaking news on one of the Egyptian Blogs..
"This afternoon at Cairo University the Popular Campaign for Change held the third Anti-Mubarak demonstration in two and a half months"
I remembered this quote..

When I was a young man, I wanted to change the world. I found it was difficult to change the world, so I tried to change my nation. When I found I couldn't change the nation, I began to focus on my town. I couldn't change the town and as an older man, I tried to change my family.

Now, as an old man, I realize the only thing I can change is myself, and suddenly I realize that if long ago I had changed myself, I could have made an impact on my family. My family and I could have made an impact on our town. Their impact could have changed the nation and I could indeed have changed the world.

—unknown monk, 1100A.D.

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