Though I won't see falling snow..

So its the 1st of December already..
I Love this Month....

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Deja Vu, or what?!

Today, as I was taking a quick glimpse of the lecture’s hall, I saw someone I never thought he’d be around at that exact timing. Simply because it’s not his normal attitude to attend such lecture. Anyways, I wonder what made me notice the cloth he was wearing, I mean this is not my usual to notice such things, but so I did.
And actually, still I didn’t pay much of attention to that and turned around to focus with the material discussed. Then the door was opened just after the lecture finished, finding that very same person entering from the door!!! To my surprise he was wearing the very same cloth I thought I saw him wearing minutes ago.
Take into your consideration that the hall got only one door in the front. While I was gazing at the entering and leaving flow of people as I was waiting for my friend. So no way that person left then re-entered.

I know it’s a trivial something to mention but it really made me wonder all day long, how could I see him while he’s not there in the 1st place ?!

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Email :$

And after a long time now, I emailed Osama on “late night cartoon”.. Thought to share it with you :)

Dear Osama,
May be as you read this email I’d be fast asleep, and may be sitting wide awake counting some shooting stars I’ve seen lately. May be I’d be feeling the normal autumn cold or the warmth of my heart.
Its been a while I haven’t emailed you, in fact its been a long time I was away. Away from my usual life, the usual faces and things I lived with for the passed 20 years or so. Suddenly, I stumbled “change” on my way. Can’t hide how much I feel happy lately, happy like I’ve never been before. Last 2 days, along with friends, we’ve been celebrating the blossoms of the sleepless nights working in the past 5 month. But that wasn’t it after all. I’ve just discovered the meaning of being a team turning in friends then brothers and sisters. I’ve met new people who twisted the very same “ME” I thought I know. I figured out some pure meanings that were hiding deep inside.
And though I know they won’t be listening to you tonight, I felt I have to declare it out loud how much I cherish the past 2 days. How much I care for them. And how much I feel disappointed on the thought that as the world keeps Turing, we might lose each other along the way. One day we are together, the next we can’t figure out where our feet are heading forward or backward to. We might meet in the middle someday, and we might end the journey with the memory that we’ve been together once upon a dream.
Have been too romantic to say so?!
I don’t know, I mean, I don’t care. I love my new friends. I love them true. And no matter where we are going to, I just wish them from all my heart a life full of love, laughter and shooting stars in their skies.
Good night Osama, Good night Cairo..
Sweet dreams…

PS: Osama, for the sake of the good old days, could you play me “seeking you again” as my usual.. or “Can’t smile without you”….

Here is Osama's reply:

Don’t fall asleep yet. But isn’t it how it works out in life. We build up new friendships, new brotherhoods, sisters, brothers, and close people. But as time goes by you change and people change especially when you are young because each of you grows on his own special way and things become different. But all the same, you may try as much as you want or as much as you can to hold on that kind of friendship as long as you are enjoying it. If not, then hold on to the feeling of it and keep a picture in your mind of this group of people you enjoy being with for quite sometime.
As for your request, we’ll see about that. But for the time being I’ll be playing you a song that relates very much to what you are telling me.
“its all about us”.. T.A.T.U.

Thank you Osama, you made my day today...

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I've been humming all day long :)

THIS IS MY SONG

PETULA CLARK

Why is my heart so light

Why are the stars so bright

Why is the sky so blue

Since the hour I met you
Flowers are smiling bright

Smiling for our delight

Smiling so tenderly

For all the world, you and me
I know why the world is smiling

Smiling so tenderly

It hears the same old story

Through all eternity
Love, this is my song

Here is a song, a serenade to you

The world cannot be wrong

If in this world there is you
I care not what the world may say

Without your love there is no day

So, love, this is my song

Here is a song, a serenade to you
I care not what the world may say

Without your love there is no day

So, love, this is my song

Here is a song, a serenade to you

Special thanks goes to "MoonLightShadow" for her help :)

Cheers Moon :)

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Don't think.. Send me MSN nudge ;)

I was thinking today, and even if they made voice / video chat much easier than today. If they enhanced the methods used; I think I’d still prefer writing chat along with those lil emotions we use almost all the time.
Even while I am talking to people face to face; I sometimes blubber out “LOOL” or “Hehe” through our talk. Sometimes I visualize the “blush emotion :$ ” when I feel embraced; and “teased red face :@ ” when I want to show someone how offended or how annoyed I feel. Let alone the " :P " smily.. I can write a WHOLE book :) :) : )
To the extend I stated once on radio, if I’d ever nominate myself to any voting ceremony: I would use “the over smiling face :D" as my symbol. I feel warmth whenever I see that shining smile. When I turn around to have our eyes meet anywhere, in an ad. Or a hanging picture, I wonder why my heart start beating fast.. *Pump Pump Pump* ??

I’ve been attached to my MSN messenger to the extend I’d get pissed off if I stayed away for a couple of hours! Or if my connection is halted and I can’t get through; *as how it’s happening to me last couple of days already*. All day long I am signed in as “away”, and in fact I’d be really away, I don’t chat *for I don’t find my will to talk most of the times, or for I don’t find my dear friends in the 1st place* but I would still keep myself logged in to feel secure !!
You’d never imagine how hard I feel when I get disconnected un-intentionally! I’d be banging my head to the nearest wall till I manage to sign in again! *Yuppieeeee*

My MSN nicknames actually represent my every current state I am passing by. Sometimes it would be less than 2 hours gap between changing my nick name according to how I feel, or what I am passing by or the song I am listening to. I write it as if I am talking to someone, I just blubber out whatever going on my mind, no matter how random or scattered it might look! No matter how long or short.. funny or depressed. I just write it out confessing my every feeling to the whole world!

Sometimes I get people on my list asking: “what’s wrong Blue?”
And tell you, deep down inside me, I feel happy for that!.. Somehow it’s a privilege I keep for myself. I even admire my MSN than my cell phone!!
Distant kind of friendship has always been my favorite. At 1st it was friends through the radio *I’ve gained a lot of cherished people into my life*. Then it turned out to have some of them online as well ;)
In addition to other usual friends I know for real :)

Never the less, after each time I curse the day I used the stupid MSN messenger as an IM.. I say secretly between me and myself: “Nop, Viva virtual world. Viva MSN!!”

Tada, signing off (^_^)

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My life is turning into a jigsaw puzzle with missing pieces. Between assumptions and expectations; worries and certainty I am losing the way. Last couple of days, nagging issues were imposing there existence every where I go, suppressing my free thoughts to breath! I reached the peak when I couldn’t control things anymore; then steadily holding the problem seeking my relief.
So asking my mind with silence as a reply; couldn’t give me clues for how to reach the clues itself! Trembling for a while, that’s how I felt, with a deep anger. Hate it when I feel that lost. Hate it when I can’t figure out the signs along my sight. Hate it when I have to hate.
Knocking heart asking, yet I felt even worst! Thoughts are blurred with a fuzzy picture of a smile. Shadows of good times and laughter hanging along the road. I can’t work fine with such kind of problems. I remember half the picture and leave the rest; or neglect it *if I’d admit*.

Tell me; how to know what is wrong and what is right?! how to decide which way to choose if all ways are blocked?! And if I am drifting aimlessly taken by clashing waves; how could I find my way home?
I am just a human; I make mistakes; that’s true! Yet tell me how to stop my inner self torture.
And if I knew your answer; tell me: will I like it?!
I can’t handle a new hurt to pass by my life, I’ve seen a lot before. Different portraits for the same faces in my every nightmare.

I’ve lost before, I’ve lost and I’ve cried. I convinced myself I am too strong to face the world alone. Yet sometimes I discover I am not. If it weren’t for the pride I keep for myself, I would have stated clear the wonders truing my life upside down!
Expectedly, I feel weak in such a way I fight for a word to ease my mind. Expectedly I feel thirsty in such a way I seek dreams won’t come true.
Some cases can pass by time, but looks mine is left to stay un-resolved at least for the time being.

Heart, don't fail me now!
Courage, don't desert me!
Don't turn back now that we're here
People always say
Life is full of choices
No one ever mentions fear!
One step at a time,
One hope, then another
Who knows where this road may go
Back to who I was
On to find my future,
Things my heart still needs to know
Yes, let this be a sign!
Let this road be mine!
Courage see me through
Heart I'm trusting you
To bring me home...
At last! (#)

(#) From the cartoon movie “Anastasia” OST
Aaliyah - Journey to the Past

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Collecting stars

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