Today’s Graduation..

12/27/2007

I used to listen to this phrase “what lasts in one’s mind, only the tiny fragile moments. Only the faint perfume of unreality, remains.”.. and believe in it.
Now, I wonder if I do.

Memories have to have something concrete to make me happy. Something I can hold in hands life long and remember. I’m not good in recalling the past. I forget. And there… I always wish to have a box, and pick parts of time. Think of it as a flower you’d pick and put in a book. Then put it back in the box and close safe..
Not a video.. not a photo.. nothing.. only part of time.. you get it out and you live the feeling all over again.

It’s hard. It might be impossible.. but that’s my wish for tonight.. not because I wish to live all over again the day today.. no.. today was like doing a ritual that lost its meaning way long when you forgot when the time to do it right. So I didn’t deeply feel it..
But I wish to live it all over again.. and do what I wished to do, yet wasn’t done..

I feel provoked for the camera that didn’t take a single shot. And I feel provoked for the moments I wish to have.. and alas.

I returned back home with my graduation certificate in my hands, and jingles in my hind of a graduation ceremony I’ve just lived.. but yet.. I don’t feel anything.. may be the severe killing headache I’m having right at the moment. Or may be for postponing the day that long.. or may be.. just a may be.. it didn’t go the way I wished for yesterday… and few days back..

Dear colleagues, you will be all missed.. college life itself will be missed.. memories will be forgotten.. pictures torn.. but one thing is certain.. and I’m sure of.. one thing will always stay with me.. life long.. and thats my special secret of tonight.

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I am a muslim..

12/06/2007



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True..

11/03/2007

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WOW!

9/19/2007



The Best Advertisement I've ever seen, in Arabic or English :)

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There is no Spoon..



Morpheus:
You have the look of a man who accepts what he sees because he is expecting to wake up. Ironically, this is not far from the truth.
Do you believe in fate, Neo?

Neo:
No.

Morpheus:
Why not?

Neo:
Because I don't like the idea that I'm not in control of my life.

Morpheus:
I know exactly what you mean.
Let me tell you why you're here.
You're here because you know something.
What you know you can't explain, but you feel it; you've felt it your entire life.
That there's something wrong with the world.
You don't know what it is, but it's there....like a splinter in your mind...driving you mad.
It is this feeling that has brought you to me.
Do you know what I'm talking about?

Neo:
The Matrix?

Morpheus:
Do you want to know what...it...is?
The Matrix is everywhere. It is all around us. Even now...in this very room.
You can see it when you look out your window, or when you turn on your television.
You can feel it when you go to work, when you go to church, when you pay your taxes.
It is the world that has been pulled over your eyes....to blind you from the truth.

Neo:
What truth?

Morpheus:
That you are a slave, Neo. Like everyone else, you were born into bondage.
Born into a prison that you cannot smell or taste or touch. A prison....for your mind.


From: "The Matrix" part 1

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1.. 2.. 3 ??

9/15/2007

I hold the pen so eager to write, yet as soon as I start writing, everything fades away. The state of mental block has extended so long so far. As if a dark coma. Can’t comprehend letters as before, neither Arabic nor English. Wasting my time more or less in trivialities. Always thinking about somewhere but here.

Tomorrow would be the 1st day at new school year with me sitting at home! It feels extra awkward. Every year I used to enjoy buying new notebooks, pens and pencils the most. Used to go shopping for new cloths, new shoes.. I even miss the feeling of obligation to sleep tonight because tomorrow is a new day, where I’d meet familiar faces; some of them are current friends and others future ones. Now.. I don’t think I’d have the chance to meet new people for so long.

I sound desperate most of the time. Today my cousin kept insisting that something is wrong with me, and when I insisted back that I’m ok.. he hinted about something else.. and if what I got is true then he must be kidding :S … mm.. I don’t know … the whole day was weird.
Starting by the 1st eftar we’d have in my uncle’s house without his wife (God rest her soul in peace).. my 2 cousines got engaged with kids now… and my other cousine is about to get married.. and my cousin himself who was talking earlier got engaged 2 weeks ago…
As if time passed so quickly all of a sudden..

I hate such days when you feel you are living as a call for duty no more. You go visit people because u have to not that you want to. I don’t want to talk to anyone these days..
More than twice I’ve yelled at my mother’s face today.. mm .. I can’t handle her jokes about me anymore, as if I need a slight push to fire.. that my uncle tried to calm me down, but of no use. I left the crowd and went to my cousine’s room.

Tomorrow is a new day, though I won’t be going to college no more 5alas.. bas yalla.. its matter of days always no matter how long.. and who knows.. I might have a job offer phone call tomorrow or something else..

And ah by the way.. I’ll wait another week before I’d call that person in charge for the dream job I talked about earlier. I’ll force myself to have a little bit more patience… for who really knows :)
Good night.. or morning.. you pick your pick and have fun..

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Just remembered a hit..

8/30/2007



I could have danced all night, I could have danced all night
And still have danced some more
I could have spread my wings, and done a thousand things
Ive never done before

Ill never know what made it so exciting
But all at once my heart took flight
I only know when he, began to dance with me
I could have danced, danced, danced, all night

From "My fair lady"
Sung by "Marni Nixon"

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Priorities, priorities..

8/02/2007

Now that I’ve finished college and just graduated, WOW, I think I’m in bad need for a change. Change as in everything. Surroundings, people, habits even knowledge and education. I’ve applied for many jobs and just did 2 interviews, tell you.. both sucks! Simply because till now I haven’t clearly thought about my wishes and priorities.
You know lately, I’ve discovered that my English is horrible. It’s a matter of little vocabulary I play with and that’s all. Even the simplest of the simple phrases are messed up in my head. Measure on that my academic education, and my general knowledge. Mm.. let me say it loud.. I lost faith in me.

Yesterday at the interview the guy asked me what do I wish to work? And so I thought for a min.. “human to human relationships is the best”.. so I suddenly said “HR”.. tell me now.. what do I know about HR to believe it’s the best place for me?.. add to that, my bad need to learn how to deal with people in the 1st place..
And what If I can’t decide wither I like electronics or communications as working fields?!.. Don’t you think that I live a haphazard life??.
No, might not be that.. but a mis-used life thought, I guess..

I’m an average 22 years old girl who believes sometimes she’s going to be the center of the universe, yet nothing is shown yet. Was average in college, may be just below that according to my friend’s results. Not a brilliant somebody, don’t have “wasta” or special talents. So….

Today I’ve started remembering my French.. yaah! It’s been a while since I’ve lastly practiced that. “oui monsieur, comment ca va?”.. and as soon as I’d finish the current download, I’ll study CCNA as well in addition to reading “Al tadayun Al mankoos” by Fahmy Huawdy, as recommended by my friend Mokhtar El Azizi..
I’m planning to buy an mp3 player to listen to audio books and learn right pronunciation for different languages. Well I have little Spanish.. why not try to develop myself there too.. may be ask my brother and a relative of ours in German courses as well..
You know, I wish I can be that highly cultured girl I usually dream of.

BTW: for Al Sharif and JJ.. you made my day seeing you still around.. :) I always enjoy reading your comments with a wide smile upon my face… keep it up and shine on my virtual friends ;)

Blue is going somewhere instead…

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6/08/2007

My mother, saw me that depressed.. SO she plucked a flower from our balcony.. a beautiful white with yellowish patches- flower.. and gave it to me..

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We won't forget

6/04/2007


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After Midnight's Talk..

4/01/2007

It was dark by the time I started the walk. I looked up to the skies.. the moon was up there, looking upon me too. Kept on looking, till it was covered by aimless clouds..

Today, I went to a photographer with Bava. You know, supposedly we are into the process of “year books” and “goodbyes” in college. Everyone is getting ready for the leave. T-shirt designs, comments on colleges, TA’s and lecturers. Its all but matter of days no matter how long..
I hate goodbyes, I always do.. always make me feel as if it’s the end of world jumped up too soon. Goodbye places, goodbye people, goodbye memories… memories good and bad forever will leave me heart broken.. sweet memories leaving, bitter ones living.. and others missed..

I was talking to myself while walking. And for no reason didn’t care for people gazing at the weird girl talking alone in English. Wasn’t in a mental state to think what is proper and what is not. It wasn’t another heavy-air night, but a heavy hearted though. And for a second I thought.. no.. I wished to talk and talk and talk and talk.. empty an ocean of words with ears listening, and open heart understanding.. feeling comfy in a way I never knew before.. but there… was the beeb of a car, and a bus stop..

As I went down from the bus, the moon was already gone. Wasn’t really gone, but was somewhere behind me that I couldn’t follow anymore. So, I looked down at the street bricks and bends, observing my shadow disappearing and appearing, then appearing and disappearing..
We really live in a world of shadows. And the one shadow I wished to see, the constant and perpetual moon shadow, was over taken by artificial street lambs, as if.. we really like living artificial lives in the dark.. masks covering faces, decorations in talking, beating around the bushes, going back and forth in thoughts without a direct link of confessions. Sometimes, I feel the world is too evil to live in.. no.. not evil.. but wicked enough to hate..

The phone ringed, and it was my father speaking from the hospital checking on us. Would I tell you a secret you might not know? I felt pity for my father being there. Not as a human, but this time as my "Papa". Quite disappointing or a little of confusing to you I guess, but ya, let me confess it now, I never felt me in strong connection with him ever since he started to show the other dominating face. I don’t blame him for much now.. I could have taken time to change the core of his attitude of dry emotions I feel inside, but… naa.. no buts… I didn’t have the guts to challenge me to change, when running away was usually my 1st solution…
But today I missed his voice the soonest he left the house in the morning, I would've never believed myself if I said something as such before; except today, after knowing that he’ll most probably have “open heart” operation soon. For another second I thought, what if he’s there no more.. will I ever…??
And I couldn’t complete the words.. it was raining on me…

Today was ACES closing by the way. And of all times of the 3 times I missed, this one was the one I really wished to attend. Lol. I can remember the day before the moderator’s selection, my heart was dead sure I will pass isA. However, I forgot the everything and spent the whole night acting as if I am at the closing ceremony, standing on stage, delivering my final message.. My wildest dreams… hmm… let me tell... to affect people, touch their souls, help them be the one they want to.. leaving my.. my thoughts, my words, my acts and deeds engraved inside them forever.. but forever never shows a kind face to me...

Tell me something.. which one is better, to enjoy something for sometime before its taken from you, or never to know about it in the 1st place?
You know, sometimes, I miss pronouncing the word “Teta”. I’ve never seen one grandparent of mine or even a single aunt, they were all gone before seeing their faces, even the single grandpa I knew, we met for the 1st 3 and a half years in my life before he was gone as well. I can still remember his harsh beard touching my chicks, and vague visions of a bed in my uncle’s flat, a “3okaz” he used to walk with and angelic face I can trace only in pictures..
What if I had anyone of these loved ones now? Will I ever feel the pampering I hear about from friends? I’d go and give my grandpa a warm hug, probably talk with him as frankly as I ever wish to? Or will I cry in my grandma’s lap while she’s playing in my hair, hush me to bed when I am trembling inside, like now?
Do hearing about un-lived stories better, or living un-finished open ended ones?!
And the road came to an end..

When the rain stopped, I caught me humming the line “wa tomo7i an amshy sa3aten ma3ak, ta7ta el matar” nearly all the way.. though it wasn’t really raining, but at least few refreshing drops..
As I was entering my building block, I looked up to the skies again.. the moon was clearer then.. I sent a dear goodbye.. and that was it..

This post's song: Killing me softly - Roberta Flack

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3/26/2007

Why can few words draw the widest smile ever on your face, and others can doom you to hell. While they are only made of letters and no heavenly bless.

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Personal dilemma

3/24/2007

You think using a wondering wireless connection in the air kind of stealing?
And what if, imagine what if, it’s a huge bandwidth, and probably your usage won’t exceed the 0.5% of it? And what if the guy (if its really a guy) is leaving it 24/7 and he’s not there.. you are totally alone.. and add to your imagination that you’re DSL cable is kind of short, so you’re not having the flexibility of move your notebook should grand?

Would you still call it stealing?!

I am into this dilemma these days. And yes, feel that I’m strongly stealing.. however tell me something.. if you ever got that kind of connection, why won’t you use it? Why would you buy such huge bandwidth and leave it to the open?
Someone told me its like enjoying the cassette playing in the other car sitting beside you in a traffic jam.. or even the high speakers from your neighbors flat.

Tell me, what you think? And take it on the larger scale.. when u say its stealing and when not…

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Twitter LoLz!

3/22/2007

Are You a Twitter Ninja?

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Each day passes, fear captures me even more. And the one thing I become more certain of is that:
Only beauty.. dies fast..
And there you'll learn never to trust happiness, and never to wish upon a star..

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Dust to dust..

2/23/2007

These weeks I’m passing by the hardest experiences; my 1st times too. I feel quite embarrassed doing what I do, and feels a bit more like being awkward. Like, imagine a girl living in a nutshell, yet next morning she was thrown to live life for real, forced to walk in the streets, work on her own, deal with people. I reckon, she’d feel like people are gazing at her while its normal and may none recognize her in the 1st place, but she’s simply not used to it.

Well, you might not understand. And the fault is all mine. I don’t know how to elaborate. I don’t know how to tell exactly what I’m feeling now. Confused. Out of mind sometimes. Yesterday I needed to disappear after what I told mum in front of Bava and mai. I mean, no I didn’t offend anybody, yet the fact that out of nothing I said exactly what I feel and trying to hide. In fact, trying to make myself believe while I don’t know that I don’t. But your heart sometimes takes chances to speak on your behave without a prior notice. Bava looked more considerate than me. Ok, I admit it. I’m not good at dealing with the other. We are humans, but its not all what makes our identity. Tell me what is our identity? How can I separate you as a human than you as being a male or female, nationality, religion, living status, education, even your preceding reputation? It’s all about you and me. We, all of us, are not merely abstracts hiding behind a vague 2 words called “human beings”, and not simply a soul, flesh and blood. But a combination of all the previous together making what really makes you you, and me me.

I didn’t understand it before, and can’t even now. How can 2 people confront each other claiming each is on the right side, and none gives a damn care to think for a second why the 2nd can’t be right too? And why can’t I understand that fact too, how can I write here preaching while I am too proud to believe the other might be right too!!
The feeling itself is suffocating even if I know before hand all the above with the tiny details.
And what made me even belittle me in front of me that other day, the look I saw in Bava’s eyes. How can I speak bluntly that way?!
There are always things that should be buried unspoken. They might not hurt anybody, but would show a part of your identity that may be others might not get it right, because you didn’t put it right, or your heart spoke too open, or the thought is not readily acceptable amongst the rest.

Why do we live behind closed doors all the route, though the route itself holds enough surprises the doors can’t help in?…

I might be exaggerating if you knew the whole thing. And yeah true.. but the idea itself that triggered me to talk this way. I’m in bad need to talk with someone who’d understand me when I tell that I’m not an angle, but I don’t want to turn into a devil. I can’t be the other, but I need to have more .. hmm.. I don’t know.. but have more consideration.. or no.. let me put it right this way.. to have better ability to act normally and really mean it.

Hatred always burns the one who have it..
Though its not hatred now.. but God please.. I wish not to turn so someday..

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Quite disappointing..

2/11/2007


CIMG2491
Originally uploaded by lastoadri.

There isn’t anything more worst than standing long waiting for your bus.
Then after you take it, you discover you’ve taken the wrong one..


Thus I say..

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Dazzled!

2/08/2007


CIMG2193
Originally uploaded by lastoadri.
Walking thru the photos right now and feeling pity. I'm greedy. There were lots and lots of beautiful things I could have shot; but totally forgot. And how can't I forget?
Now I wonder where I was the last couple of days, really in Luxor and Aswan, or place from heaven on earth?!

No, I don't have an answer.

And if you asked me what was I feeling all through the cruise I'll tell you.. fear "rahba" and "entma2".

I've met my ancestors before at the pyramids and the Egyptian museum. Each time got a different flavor, yet this time, and this time alone, I was proud Egyptian as if its my 1st time to know what's the meaning of the word. And why not. Yes.. it was my 1st time to taste it..
This heritage I was walking through, is the ruins of my great grand fathers. And who knows who stepped in here before me too..
All the tombs were robbed, only the Tut Ankh Amon's tomb was discovered complete (can you imagine the wealth?). Almost all the oblisques and treasured monuments were sent to different cities of the world, and us were left with the ruins (can you imagine the tragedy?). The temple of the karnak, the Nile at sun set, the beauty of God's hand make everywhere, the weather, the people.. Aswan people got the best smile one can meet.

What to add?!

I don't want to look the dreamy person, but yes, it was a dream. 5 days passed like a dream flashed in a sky like a comet then disappeared in Cairo's dim and trains whistles.
I fell in love with Luxor & Aswan..
See, I visited the temple of karnak twice per day for the 1st day, and the 2 times I felt it different. Standing so strong with dignity up to the sky!
The temple of Luxor at night with the lights lit every where leave no space for words to describe a thing.
The beauty in Temple Fiala. The beauty of man's work & ALLAH's creation *full stop*.
The Nile with the felucca for the Nubian village. Hour and half going and another returning in the best spot of the entire Nile (yeah the place near Agha khan palace).

1st timer..

1st time to travel all alone, only with friends. 1st time to visit there. 1st time to take a cruise. 1st time to draw "hena" on my hands. 1st time to feel that "3azama".

May be other time I'd tell the story in details. Yet at the gate of Karnak, where the stories start and end at the same moment. When time loses its meaning, and magic surrounds your sight.
Words elope.
You'd gaze at the cravings on the walls and know right away.. people may go astray or facts twisted.. But there, the essence of real civilization remains.


PS: You can always see the rest of my photos here though I still got even more about to upload isA..

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Old Cairo

1/27/2007



I went yesterday to my best friend's "Bava" house for the analog project, to find her making this little surprise on the music "Gabriel's Oboe" I mentioned earlier in a previous post, with some "old Cairo" photos she got online. She knows how much I LOVE Cairo :)

So to her I send my deepest thanks, begad.. I feel great full knowing a person like her...

And YOU, whoever YOU are.. Enjoy her Old Cairo little clip :) and tell me what you think...

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ASIC effect!

1/22/2007


ASIC effect, originally uploaded by lastoadri.

PS: ASIC : Application-specific integrated circuit

(she2 mesh latef 3l se7a!)

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If only...

1/18/2007



Stumbled my way today
art.com

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A year passed and a thought change..

1/17/2007

Aha, now I know why do I like "Love story".

The broadband connection was cut in the morning, and apart from being pissed off, I thought of doing something useful. And since I just finished my 4th exam yesterday, so didn't wish to do something very very useful; that's why, I switched on "love story" for un-reasonable reasons.

Exactly a year ago, I wrote my history with that particular movie, how I got to know plus few blubbers on the very famous quotation "Love means you haven't to say you are sorry" blahlalala
Right now, I think it's stupid! Sorry folks, but yes it is very stupid. The whole story behind the movie is stupid. I mean, it's nice to have such feeling da da da, but don't you think they were dashingly over reacting? Even if we assumed they are not, and love really means you don't have to say you are sorry or love in that sense actually exists, still the story -for me- sounds silly and stupid. (only the dyeing matter can be left alone.. that was touching)

However, I did really enjoy watching the movie, especially the 2nd half. Apart from the extraordinary background music, but you know Oliver Barrett reminds me of my very own self.
"Quite a wealthy son who's not on good terms with his father and can afford to go through the entire possible struggle just to get rid of his father's orders."

Just as simple at that..

The movie ended at lunch time, and since I got no guts to sit down at the table and share lunch with anybody (yup, turned off the yesterday's mood), I preferred to rather write such words, then wonder when I'd have the chance to post. And there after, I fetched another movie on the waiting list to watch.. a total different flavor this time "The omen"

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Simply, a hit..

1/14/2007

John Lennon -- Imagine

Imagine there is no heaven
It's easy if you try
No Hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today

Imagine there is no country
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace

You may say I am a dreamer
But I am not the only one
I hope some day you join us
And the world will be one

Imagine no possession
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man

Imagine all the people sharing all the world
You may say I am a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope some day you join us
And the world will live as one

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Feliz Cumpleanos..

1/11/2007


I remember when my friend Mr. DXer used to say "I'm 35 but 18 at heart", and I used to reply back "I'm 18, but 62 at heart". The 62 was just a joke back then, yet grown to live with me.
Today, I hit my 22. Only 40 steps left for the 62, am I ready?! Aslan will I ever reach my 62?!
UH! Come on! 40 years left?!
Will I ever live 40 more years in here?!
No way..


Last November, I wrote something, and was intending to post it at my birthday. Spontaneous talk doesn't always fit in all situations. Especially that I wished to send my words, as it happens every year to Osama, in his radio program "Late night cartoon". But right now, I don't have any intentions to email him a single letter or publish my pre- written words. Plus I absolutly have nothing in mind to talk about, in the 1st place..

21 years, what will I miss?
Hmm, not much. I don't imagine a dramatic change in the next year. Except for, the people surrounding me. This year isA I will graduate, no longer a student in school or college. Don't know about post graduate studies yet. May be yes, may be no. I got a good job offer recently by the way, so may be I'd give the interview a try then decide later on. May be I get married, and may be not. May be I'll travel or migrate, and may be not.
But in all cases, the people I have around now will always be missed.

+1, what to wish for?
I nearly got nothing to wish for; actually I am not waiting for anything. No one buys me presents since many years, my parents normally forget I have a birthday and frankly not even waiting for a cake! But Excuse me, I have one thing in mind that never changed all through my previous years.
Tell me, How many times you regretted not telling someone, something, a little something, before s/he goes away? And how many times you wondered, (at least, I wondered) who'll feel sad for me going away? Who loves me true and who not? Who regards me as an ultimate necessarily precious gift in his/her life, and who doesn't really care?!
So, what if I die tomorrow, that can be true, very true, who'll be that someone and what's the something?

+1 min, ready? Steady..?!.. what will I go for?!
Let alone, I have to behave and go study.. my exam is in 2 days!
Ya, I know, I'm not the resolutions type of girls. But tell you, I'll go for making memories. Lots of memories. Lots and lots of them. Everywhere I go, every person I chit-chat, exchang a smile, share an opinion with. I don't know how to start. But every little moment passing me by, I wish to keep it safe till I am old and gray. When its another cold winter night like tonight, 11st of January some year ahead, sitting around the heater with my grannys around, using my faint weary voice telling them stories, my stories. And a sudden big wide smile covers my face, for me remembering the days :)


Happy Birthday Dear Blue.. And May You Always Remain the Blue, The One And Only Blue You Wish For You..


PS: The above photo is mine. I took the shot on the 9th of January, using the Pastel filter in the camera's options. Then the framing and signature "On My Own..." by photoshop CS2.

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To that someone..

1/09/2007

I began to grow weary...
You have something, then you are fed up with it. You leave something, then you miss it. You decide something, then you regret it.
And in the middle you choose to wait all together. Mostly, you choose it the hard way out. Torturing oneself on purpose, trying to convince yourself everything is so beautiful, waiting for your magical brush, to color it your own way. You try to believe in fairy tales, and think peace might prevail. You tell yourself, "Probably it's not green on the other side, its greener yet. And Tomorrow is but a new day, and the best is yet to come."
You sip hope with your every tea cup, and wait for that someone who'd tell you s/he understood it all, and got what you really meant..

"Dare to dream," you repeat it in your morning while gazing at your mirror but you always forget to whisper "dare to live". Or may be, you didn't really forget..

I was never confused about a thing, as much as I am with life, and its abstracts you pass by on daily bases. No, with every living step!
Life, living, death, happiness, sadness, friendship, love, betrayal, knowledge, universe, us, being, freedom, illusive limits, destiny.. and the list is still too long. Tell me what are these, and what is life? Is it a breath we breathe then its gone?
Yet Tell me 1st, why to ask "why to live?"..

We are born sometime ago, walk into the same route others used for long. Then you find, alas, the big yellowish, gray sign "the end". Sometimes you dream of another, a whole new road, never been tapped by a previous being, to mark a discovery, or prove infinity. However, the commen funny thing in those stories, the sign is the very same, fate that is. May be at times you didn't expect, and may be long after you've visualized the moment hundred times ahead.

True and cruel life is sometimes. Especially when you find those people, dear people, you can't lie in front. You tell them, "I am ok", and they believe you not. They give you the bitter truth on a golden plat, demanding you to accept.
I am one of those who wishes to be lied at. Lie to me, when you know its going to hurt. Lie to me when you know I won't feel ok afterwards. Lie to me and let me really believe tomorrow is a new day, and the best is yet to come. Add me sugar, lots of sugar to my morning coffee, let me dare to dream for real and dare to live. Let me believe faries will choose me out of the billions living to do me magic, and that tomorrow I'll watch my reflections smiling over the ocean, dancing my tango dance though.. Though, I've never met the ocean, or learnt a single move or step.

Me, beautiful. Me loves me. Me proud of me. Me .. Me hates me sometimes. Sometimes and sometimes a lot.

"Don't worry," I tell you and myself. The storm will soon go calm, the windmills' rage will quit, and lights will all go quitly dim. A moment of scilent will seperate me and the next moment when I'd find me left again with those stupid questions in my head.
"why all that?" and a big *full stop*..


"Sonnet of the woods" by "Yuhki Kuramoto", really tells..


PS: The above image is originally not mine. However, I signed with "On My Own..." for the framing and special effects on photoshop CS2.

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