I began to grow weary...
You have something, then you are fed up with it. You leave something, then you miss it. You decide something, then you regret it.
And in the middle you choose to wait all together. Mostly, you choose it the hard way out. Torturing oneself on purpose, trying to convince yourself everything is so beautiful, waiting for your magical brush, to color it your own way. You try to believe in fairy tales, and think peace might prevail. You tell yourself, "
Probably it's not green on the other side, its greener yet. And Tomorrow is but a new day, and the best is yet to come."
You sip hope with your every tea cup, and wait for that someone who'd tell you s/he understood it all, and got what you really meant..
"
Dare to dream," you repeat it in your morning while gazing at your mirror but you always forget to whisper "dare to live". Or may be, you didn't really forget..
I was never confused about a thing, as much as I am with life, and its abstracts you pass by on daily bases. No, with every living step!
Life, living, death, happiness, sadness, friendship, love, betrayal, knowledge, universe, us, being, freedom, illusive limits, destiny.. and the list is still too long. Tell me what are these, and what is life? Is it a breath we breathe then its gone?
Yet Tell me 1st, why to ask "why to live?"..
We are born sometime ago, walk into the same route others used for long. Then you find, alas, the big yellowish, gray sign "the end". Sometimes you dream of another, a whole new road, never been tapped by a previous being, to mark a discovery, or prove infinity. However, the commen funny thing in those stories, the sign is the very same, fate that is. May be at times you didn't expect, and may be long after you've visualized the moment hundred times ahead.
True and cruel life is sometimes. Especially when you find those people, dear people, you can't lie in front. You tell them, "
I am ok", and they believe you not. They give you the bitter truth on a golden plat, demanding you to accept.
I am one of those who wishes to be lied at. Lie to me, when you know its going to hurt. Lie to me when you know I won't feel ok afterwards. Lie to me and let me really believe tomorrow is a new day, and the best is yet to come. Add me sugar, lots of sugar to my morning coffee, let me dare to dream for real and dare to live. Let me believe faries will choose me out of the billions living to do me magic, and that tomorrow I'll watch my reflections smiling over the ocean, dancing my tango dance though.. Though, I've never met the ocean, or learnt a single move or step.
Me, beautiful. Me loves me. Me proud of me. Me .. Me hates me sometimes. Sometimes and sometimes a lot.
"
Don't worry," I tell you and myself. The storm will soon go calm, the windmills' rage will quit, and lights will all go quitly dim. A moment of scilent will seperate me and the next moment when I'd find me left again with those stupid questions in my head.
"why all that?" and a big *full stop*..
"
Sonnet of the woods" by "Yuhki Kuramoto", really tells..
PS: The above image is originally not mine. However, I signed with "On My Own..." for the framing and special effects on photoshop CS2.
Aha, now I know why do I like "Love story".
I began to grow weary...
