There is no Spoon..
Morpheus:
You have the look of a man who accepts what he sees because he is expecting to wake up. Ironically, this is not far from the truth.
Do you believe in fate, Neo?
Neo:
No.
Morpheus:
Why not?
Neo:
Because I don't like the idea that I'm not in control of my life.
Morpheus:
I know exactly what you mean.
Let me tell you why you're here.
You're here because you know something.
What you know you can't explain, but you feel it; you've felt it your entire life.
That there's something wrong with the world.
You don't know what it is, but it's there....like a splinter in your mind...driving you mad.
It is this feeling that has brought you to me.
Do you know what I'm talking about?
Neo:
The Matrix?
Morpheus:
Do you want to know what...it...is?
The Matrix is everywhere. It is all around us. Even now...in this very room.
You can see it when you look out your window, or when you turn on your television.
You can feel it when you go to work, when you go to church, when you pay your taxes.
It is the world that has been pulled over your eyes....to blind you from the truth.
Neo:
What truth?
Morpheus:
That you are a slave, Neo. Like everyone else, you were born into bondage.
Born into a prison that you cannot smell or taste or touch. A prison....for your mind.
From: "The Matrix" part 1
Read more...
You have the look of a man who accepts what he sees because he is expecting to wake up. Ironically, this is not far from the truth.
Do you believe in fate, Neo?
Neo:
No.
Morpheus:
Why not?
Neo:
Because I don't like the idea that I'm not in control of my life.
Morpheus:
I know exactly what you mean.
Let me tell you why you're here.
You're here because you know something.
What you know you can't explain, but you feel it; you've felt it your entire life.
That there's something wrong with the world.
You don't know what it is, but it's there....like a splinter in your mind...driving you mad.
It is this feeling that has brought you to me.
Do you know what I'm talking about?
Neo:
The Matrix?
Morpheus:
Do you want to know what...it...is?
The Matrix is everywhere. It is all around us. Even now...in this very room.
You can see it when you look out your window, or when you turn on your television.
You can feel it when you go to work, when you go to church, when you pay your taxes.
It is the world that has been pulled over your eyes....to blind you from the truth.
Neo:
What truth?
Morpheus:
That you are a slave, Neo. Like everyone else, you were born into bondage.
Born into a prison that you cannot smell or taste or touch. A prison....for your mind.
From: "The Matrix" part 1
1.. 2.. 3 ??
9/15/2007
I hold the pen so eager to write, yet as soon as I start writing, everything fades away. The state of mental block has extended so long so far. As if a dark coma. Can’t comprehend letters as before, neither Arabic nor English. Wasting my time more or less in trivialities. Always thinking about somewhere but here.Tomorrow would be the 1st day at new school year with me sitting at home! It feels extra awkward. Every year I used to enjoy buying new notebooks, pens and pencils the most. Used to go shopping for new cloths, new shoes.. I even miss the feeling of obligation to sleep tonight because tomorrow is a new day, where I’d meet familiar faces; some of them are current friends and others future ones. Now.. I don’t think I’d have the chance to meet new people for so long.
I sound desperate most of the time. Today my cousin kept insisting that something is wrong with me, and when I insisted back that I’m ok.. he hinted about something else.. and if what I got is true then he must be kidding :S … mm.. I don’t know … the whole day was weird.
Starting by the 1st eftar we’d have in my uncle’s house without his wife (God rest her soul in peace).. my 2 cousines got engaged with kids now… and my other cousine is about to get married.. and my cousin himself who was talking earlier got engaged 2 weeks ago…
As if time passed so quickly all of a sudden..
I hate such days when you feel you are living as a call for duty no more. You go visit people because u have to not that you want to. I don’t want to talk to anyone these days..
More than twice I’ve yelled at my mother’s face today.. mm .. I can’t handle her jokes about me anymore, as if I need a slight push to fire.. that my uncle tried to calm me down, but of no use. I left the crowd and went to my cousine’s room.
Tomorrow is a new day, though I won’t be going to college no more 5alas.. bas yalla.. its matter of days always no matter how long.. and who knows.. I might have a job offer phone call tomorrow or something else..
And ah by the way.. I’ll wait another week before I’d call that person in charge for the dream job I talked about earlier. I’ll force myself to have a little bit more patience… for who really knows :)
Good night.. or morning.. you pick your pick and have fun..
Just remembered a hit..
8/30/2007
I could have danced all night, I could have danced all night
And still have danced some more
I could have spread my wings, and done a thousand things
Ive never done before
Ill never know what made it so exciting
But all at once my heart took flight
I only know when he, began to dance with me
I could have danced, danced, danced, all night
From "My fair lady"
Sung by "Marni Nixon"
Sung by "Marni Nixon"
Priorities, priorities..
8/02/2007
Now that I’ve finished college and just graduated, WOW, I think I’m in bad need for a change. Change as in everything. Surroundings, people, habits even knowledge and education. I’ve applied for many jobs and just did 2 interviews, tell you.. both sucks! Simply because till now I haven’t clearly thought about my wishes and priorities.You know lately, I’ve discovered that my English is horrible. It’s a matter of little vocabulary I play with and that’s all. Even the simplest of the simple phrases are messed up in my head. Measure on that my academic education, and my general knowledge. Mm.. let me say it loud.. I lost faith in me.
Yesterday at the interview the guy asked me what do I wish to work? And so I thought for a min.. “human to human relationships is the best”.. so I suddenly said “HR”.. tell me now.. what do I know about HR to believe it’s the best place for me?.. add to that, my bad need to learn how to deal with people in the 1st place..
And what If I can’t decide wither I like electronics or communications as working fields?!.. Don’t you think that I live a haphazard life??.
No, might not be that.. but a mis-used life thought, I guess..
I’m an average 22 years old girl who believes sometimes she’s going to be the center of the universe, yet nothing is shown yet. Was average in college, may be just below that according to my friend’s results. Not a brilliant somebody, don’t have “wasta” or special talents. So….
Today I’ve started remembering my French.. yaah! It’s been a while since I’ve lastly practiced that. “oui monsieur, comment ca va?”.. and as soon as I’d finish the current download, I’ll study CCNA as well in addition to reading “Al tadayun Al mankoos” by Fahmy Huawdy, as recommended by my friend Mokhtar El Azizi..
I’m planning to buy an mp3 player to listen to audio books and learn right pronunciation for different languages. Well I have little Spanish.. why not try to develop myself there too.. may be ask my brother and a relative of ours in German courses as well..
You know, I wish I can be that highly cultured girl I usually dream of.
BTW: for Al Sharif and JJ.. you made my day seeing you still around.. :) I always enjoy reading your comments with a wide smile upon my face… keep it up and shine on my virtual friends ;)
Blue is going somewhere instead…
6/08/2007
My mother, saw me that depressed.. SO she plucked a flower from our balcony.. a beautiful white with yellowish patches- flower.. and gave it to me..
Read more...
After Midnight's Talk..
4/01/2007
It was dark by the time I started the walk. I looked up to the skies.. the moon was up there, looking upon me too. Kept on looking, till it was covered by aimless clouds..Today, I went to a photographer with Bava. You know, supposedly we are into the process of “year books” and “goodbyes” in college. Everyone is getting ready for the leave. T-shirt designs, comments on colleges, TA’s and lecturers. Its all but matter of days no matter how long..
I hate goodbyes, I always do.. always make me feel as if it’s the end of world jumped up too soon. Goodbye places, goodbye people, goodbye memories… memories good and bad forever will leave me heart broken.. sweet memories leaving, bitter ones living.. and others missed..
I was talking to myself while walking. And for no reason didn’t care for people gazing at the weird girl talking alone in English. Wasn’t in a mental state to think what is proper and what is not. It wasn’t another heavy-air night, but a heavy hearted though. And for a second I thought.. no.. I wished to talk and talk and talk and talk.. empty an ocean of words with ears listening, and open heart understanding.. feeling comfy in a way I never knew before.. but there… was the beeb of a car, and a bus stop..
As I went down from the bus, the moon was already gone. Wasn’t really gone, but was somewhere behind me that I couldn’t follow anymore. So, I looked down at the street bricks and bends, observing my shadow disappearing and appearing, then appearing and disappearing..
We really live in a world of shadows. And the one shadow I wished to see, the constant and perpetual moon shadow, was over taken by artificial street lambs, as if.. we really like living artificial lives in the dark.. masks covering faces, decorations in talking, beating around the bushes, going back and forth in thoughts without a direct link of confessions. Sometimes, I feel the world is too evil to live in.. no.. not evil.. but wicked enough to hate..
The phone ringed, and it was my father speaking from the hospital checking on us. Would I tell you a secret you might not know? I felt pity for my father being there. Not as a human, but this time as my "Papa". Quite disappointing or a little of confusing to you I guess, but ya, let me confess it now, I never felt me in strong connection with him ever since he started to show the other dominating face. I don’t blame him for much now.. I could have taken time to change the core of his attitude of dry emotions I feel inside, but… naa.. no buts… I didn’t have the guts to challenge me to change, when running away was usually my 1st solution…
But today I missed his voice the soonest he left the house in the morning, I would've never believed myself if I said something as such before; except today, after knowing that he’ll most probably have “open heart” operation soon. For another second I thought, what if he’s there no more.. will I ever…??
And I couldn’t complete the words.. it was raining on me…
Today was ACES closing by the way. And of all times of the 3 times I missed, this one was the one I really wished to attend. Lol. I can remember the day before the moderator’s selection, my heart was dead sure I will pass isA. However, I forgot the everything and spent the whole night acting as if I am at the closing ceremony, standing on stage, delivering my final message.. My wildest dreams… hmm… let me tell... to affect people, touch their souls, help them be the one they want to.. leaving my.. my thoughts, my words, my acts and deeds engraved inside them forever.. but forever never shows a kind face to me...
Tell me something.. which one is better, to enjoy something for sometime before its taken from you, or never to know about it in the 1st place?
You know, sometimes, I miss pronouncing the word “Teta”. I’ve never seen one grandparent of mine or even a single aunt, they were all gone before seeing their faces, even the single grandpa I knew, we met for the 1st 3 and a half years in my life before he was gone as well. I can still remember his harsh beard touching my chicks, and vague visions of a bed in my uncle’s flat, a “3okaz” he used to walk with and angelic face I can trace only in pictures..
What if I had anyone of these loved ones now? Will I ever feel the pampering I hear about from friends? I’d go and give my grandpa a warm hug, probably talk with him as frankly as I ever wish to? Or will I cry in my grandma’s lap while she’s playing in my hair, hush me to bed when I am trembling inside, like now?
Do hearing about un-lived stories better, or living un-finished open ended ones?!
And the road came to an end..
When the rain stopped, I caught me humming the line “wa tomo7i an amshy sa3aten ma3ak, ta7ta el matar” nearly all the way.. though it wasn’t really raining, but at least few refreshing drops..
As I was entering my building block, I looked up to the skies again.. the moon was clearer then.. I sent a dear goodbye.. and that was it..
This post's song: Killing me softly - Roberta Flack 3/26/2007
Why can few words draw the widest smile ever on your face, and others can doom you to hell. While they are only made of letters and no heavenly bless.
Read more...Personal dilemma
3/24/2007
You think using a wondering wireless connection in the air kind of stealing?
And what if, imagine what if, it’s a huge bandwidth, and probably your usage won’t exceed the 0.5% of it? And what if the guy (if its really a guy) is leaving it 24/7 and he’s not there.. you are totally alone.. and add to your imagination that you’re DSL cable is kind of short, so you’re not having the flexibility of move your notebook should grand?
Would you still call it stealing?!
I am into this dilemma these days. And yes, feel that I’m strongly stealing.. however tell me something.. if you ever got that kind of connection, why won’t you use it? Why would you buy such huge bandwidth and leave it to the open?
Someone told me its like enjoying the cassette playing in the other car sitting beside you in a traffic jam.. or even the high speakers from your neighbors flat.
Tell me, what you think? And take it on the larger scale.. when u say its stealing and when not…
Read more...
And what if, imagine what if, it’s a huge bandwidth, and probably your usage won’t exceed the 0.5% of it? And what if the guy (if its really a guy) is leaving it 24/7 and he’s not there.. you are totally alone.. and add to your imagination that you’re DSL cable is kind of short, so you’re not having the flexibility of move your notebook should grand?
Would you still call it stealing?!
I am into this dilemma these days. And yes, feel that I’m strongly stealing.. however tell me something.. if you ever got that kind of connection, why won’t you use it? Why would you buy such huge bandwidth and leave it to the open?
Someone told me its like enjoying the cassette playing in the other car sitting beside you in a traffic jam.. or even the high speakers from your neighbors flat.
Tell me, what you think? And take it on the larger scale.. when u say its stealing and when not…
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