Collisions in Cyber space..

What’s the secret in hitting the “downloads” button whenever I visit any website. And the more free downloads I find, the more I love the place and bookmark it in most cases..!

*****

Collisions in cyber space.. you talk to somebody and discover s/he’s not male/female as you thought! Myself, I’ve been called a male many times. Might be for the pre-drawn imagine baby blue and baby pink ..
And in most cases you don’t know wither to apologize if it wasn’t an intended mistake. Or just leave it to time wash it away..

*****

It's very VERY cold yesterday and today... Don't know how would I go out during Eid days.. Looks like i'll be tortured by real hell these days.
Looking as panda in an un-comfy days for me...

*****

My inbox got greetings from people I know nothing about! New year.. feast.. etc. Some names are familiar from my college.. but how they got my email in the 1st place?!
And as expected, no matter how I tried to hold myself.. I replied them one by one…

*****

Guess I’ll choose option 2, and leave time wash it away.
Hmm.. it wasn’t on purpose after all… :)


TADA.. Leave ya to walk in the winter wonderland.. Where the green grass grows…
Sorry, Off to my desk I mean :P ..

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This year's question..

As the new year rushing forward... I wonder how many people were blocked then deleted from my life, and how many left, and when and where will I decide I need them no more?!

Any Clue?!

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Show time: La Finestra di Fronte

I saw the movie yesterday in a hurry. There was a rush of phone calls, due few phone calls with some people keda, in addition to my lack of concentration due my latest in the graduation project issue and last but not least few phone calls with my mother’s friend.

Whatever the reasons are, I can tell you explicitly “La Finestra di Fronte” is a worth watch movie!
Yuppsi..
Look, the story might be over used. Fate playing with our lives, and us torn between choices, dreams, commitment and sacrifice.
At a time I felt the old man is “fate” or “destiny” talking to the protagonist (Giovanna) and her neighbor (Lorenzo). And it might be true. You know, you might be wandering in a street some where then you discover your life turned upside down after. Or you might meet someone sometime and discover later, this coincidence was meant for a life time. There you know after fate was in that place or that person.
And so, I loved it for that spinning thought.. “where fate lies?!”

Forget about the average ending, however, you WILL find yourself diving into the movie scenes. The emotional perspective in the movie is very rich. The director is more than fantastic! The cast awesome especially the old man (Simone) he is excellent. I felt passion with his every word and twist.

Mm, I was never a movie critique.. so I don’t have much to say but “I loved the movie, especially the background music was fabulous”..


Before I go, I wish to thank Film69, if it weren’t for his blog I won’t have known such a movie.
And last but not least, you might read this review I passed by chance… and guess I 2nd it all..

Cheers and good luck

UPDATES:
The theme song: Gocce di Memoria
The theme OST: L'Amore perduto - Il pensiero de Te
Another review: Facing windows

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Your Thought and Mine

By Gibran

Your thought is a tree rooted deep in the soil of tradition and whose branches grow in the power of continuity. My thought is a cloud moving in the space. It turns into drops which, as they fall, form a brook that sings its way into the sea. Then it rises as vapour into the sky. Your thought is a fortress that neither gale nor the lightning can shake. My thought is a tender leaf that sways in every direction and finds pleasure in its swaying. Your thought is an ancient dogma that cannot change you nor can you change it. My thought is new, and it tests me and I test it morn and eve.

You have your thought and I have mine.

Your thought allows you to believe in the unequal contest of the strong against the weak, and in the tricking of the simple by the subtle ones. My thought creates in me the desire to till the earth with my hoe, and harvest the crops with my sickle, and build my home with stones and mortar, and weave my raiment with woollen and linen threads. Your thought urges you to marry wealth and notability. Mine commends self-reliance. Your thought advocates fame and show. Mine counsels me and implores me to cast aside notoriety and treat it like a grain of sand cast upon the shore of eternity. Your thought instils in your heart arrogance and superiority. Mine plants within me love for peace and the desire for independence. Your thought begets dreams of palaces with furniture of sandalwood studded with jewels, and beds made of twisted silk threads. My thought speaks softly in my ears, “Be clean in body and spirit even if you have nowhere to lay your head.” Your thought makes you aspire to titles and offices. Mine exhorts me to humble service.

You have your thought and I have mine.

Your thought is social science, a religious and political dictionary. Mine is simple axiom. Your thought speaks of the beautiful woman, the ugly, the virtuous, the prostitute, the intelligent, and the stupid. Mine sees in every woman a mother, a sister, or a daughter of every man. The subjects of your thought are thieves, criminals, and assassins. Mine declares that thieves are the creatures of monopoly, criminals are the offspring of tyrants, and assassins are akin to the slain. Your thought describes laws, courts, judges, punishments. Mine explains that when man makes a law, he either violates it or obeys it. If there is a basic law, we are all one before it. He who disdains the mean is himself mean. He who vaunts his scorn of the sinful vaunts his disdain of all humanity. Your thought concerns the skilled, the artist, the intellectual, the philosopher, the priest. Mine speaks of the loving and the affectionate, the sincere, the honest, the forthright, the kindly, and the martyr. Your thought advocates Judaism, Brahmanism, Buddhism, Christianity, and Islam. In my thought there is only one universal religion, whose varied paths are but the fingers of the loving hand of the Supreme Being. In your thought there are the rich, the poor, and the beggared. My thought holds that there are no riches but life; that we are all beggars, and no benefactor exists save life herself.

You have your thought and I have mine.

According to your thought, the greatness of nations lies in their politics, their parties, their conferences, their alliances and treaties. But mine proclaims that the importance of nations lies in work – work in the field, work in the vineyards, work with the loom, work in the tannery, work in the quarry, work in the timberyard, work in the office and in the press. Your thought holds that the glory of the nations is in their heroes. It sings the praises of Rameses, Alexander, Caesar, Hannibal, and Napoleon. But mine claims that the real heroes are Confucius, Lao-Tse, Socrates, Plato, Abi Taleb, El Gazali, Jalal Ed-din-el Roumy, Copernicus, and Pasteur. Your thought sees power in armies, cannons, battleships, submarines, aeroplanes, and poison gas. But mine asserts that power lies in reason, resolution, and truth. No matter how long the tyrant endures, he will be the loser at the end. Your thought differentiates between pragmatist and idealist, between the part and the whole, between the mystic and materialist. Mine realizes that life is one and its weights, measures and tables do not coincide with your weights, measures and tables. He whom you suppose an idealist may be a practical man.

You have your thought and I have mine.

Your thought is interested in ruins and museums, mummies and petrified objects. But mine hovers in the ever-renewed haze and clouds. Your thought is enthroned on skulls. Since you take pride in it, you glorify it too. My thought wanders in the obscure and distant valleys. Your thought trumpets while you dance. Mine prefers the anguish of death to your music and dancing. Your thought is the thought of gossip and false pleasure. Mine is the thought of him who is lost in his own country, of the alien in his own nation, of the solitary among his kinfolk and friends.

You have your thought and I have mine.

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Kate & Leopold

Just finished the movie "Kate & Leopold" on MBC2.. and tell U, Loved the conversations to the max. (btw: its yet another, a must 2nd watch on my list for convo.s NOT the plot )
here are some of my favorite quotes from the part i managed to watch..


Kate: I'm not very good with men.
Leopold: Perhaps you haven't found the right one.
Kate: Maybe. Or, uh... maybe that whole love thing is just a grown-up version of Santa Claus; just a myth we've been fed since childhood. So, we keep buying magazines, joining clubs, and doing therapy and watching movies with hit pop songs played over love montages all in a pathetic attempt to explain why our love Santa keeps getting caught in the chimney.

******

Stuart: It is no more crazy than a dog finding a rainbow. Dogs are colourblind, Gretchen. They don't see colour. Just like we don't see time. We can feel it, we can feel it passing, but we can't see it. It's just like a blur. It's like we're riding in a supersonic train and the world is just blowing by, but imagine if we could stop that train, eh, Gretchen? Imagine if we could stop that train, get out, look around, and see time for what it really is? A universe, a world, a thing as unimaginable as colour to a dog, and as real, as tangible as that chair you're sitting in. Now if we could see it like that, really look at it, then maybe we could see the flaws as well as the form. And that's it; it's that simple. That's all I discovered. I'm just a... a guy who saw a crack in a chair that no one else could see. I'm that dog who saw a rainbow, only none of the other dogs believed me.
Gretchen: I believe you.

*******

Kate: And... it's a great thing to get what you want. It's a really good thing unless what you thought you wanted wasn't really what you wanted... because what you really wanted you couldn't imagine or you didn't think it was possible but what if someone came along who knew exactly what you wanted without asking they just knew... like they could hear your heart beating or listen to your thoughts and what if they were sure of themselves and they didn't have to take a poll and they loved you... but you hesitated and I... uh... I have to go... I'm sorry but... I have to go!

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Ne me quite pas

I can't stop that song form my play list.. And once I saw this video..
I can't but raise my hat and shut up..

I JUST LOVE HIM SINGING IT

PS: you can always listen to "Jaques Brel" singing it on my side bar...

Ne me quitte pas
Ne me quitte pas
Il faut oublier
Tout peut s'oublier
Qui s'enfuit déjà
Oublier le temps
Des malentendus
Et le temps perdu
A savoir comment
Oublier ces heures
Qui tuaient parfois
A coups de pourquoi
Le coeur du bonheur

Moi je t'offrirai
Des perles de pluie
Venues de pays
Où il ne pleut pas
Je creuserai la terre
Jusqu'après ma mort
Pour couvrir ton corps
D'or et de lumière
Je ferai un domaine
Où l'amour sera roi
Où l'amour sera loi
Où tu seras reine

Ne me quitte pas
Je t'inventerai
Des mots insensés
Que tu comprendras
Je te parlerai
De ces amants-là
Qui ont vue deux fois
Leurs coeurs s'embraser
Je te raconterai
L'histoire de ce roi
Mort de n'avoir pas
Pu te rencontrer

On a vu souvent
Rejaillir le feu
De l'ancien volcan
Qu'on croyait trop vieux
Il est paraît-il
Des terres brûlées
Donnant plus de blé
Qu'un meilleur avril
Et quand vient le soir
Pour qu'un ciel flamboie
Le rouge et le noir
Ne s'épousent-ils pas

Ne me quitte pas
Je ne vais plus pleurer
Je ne vais plus parler
Je me cacherai là
A te regarder
Danser et sourire
Et à t'écouter
Chanter et puis rire
Laisse-moi devenir
L'ombre de ton ombre
L'ombre de ta main
L'ombre de ton chien

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Astray

Lets eat till our stomach hurt..
Then dance, lets dance till dawn and more..
Lets laugh till wrinkles in faces appear so clear..
Just stand out and cry till our voices fade..
Then go together, hold on together to the next day’s sunset..

The sun will go, the voices fade.. and pleasure all gone..

Today is a day, tomorrow is another..
Today we are here, tomorrow may not..

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Time or after sometime..

If thoughts die,
What you guess of a human being?!

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I do not know..

Past couple of days are some of the worst. But life should go on, and never stops. There should be something you linger to. A dream, a hope, a wish, vacation, going out, a friend’s phone call.. Didn’t I tell you before, we spend most of our life waiting :) ?

Something inside you always wake you up when you go down, something hidden, mysterious.. away from any concrete abstracts. Something tells me I deserve a better life somewhere. And so, I do not like being down. I hate being sad… I hate passing days with continuous news each one is worst than the other.

I say, enough frustrations for the time being. Moemen wrote a post in his blog and I 2nd with every single beat in my heart. And just.. I do not know.. and I do not know when I’d know… I am feeling sad with a heavy heart.

Hours ago I was working on my digital integrated circuits report. One hell of another torture. Never mind the usual list of curses regarding college, people, lecturer.. etc. but here it goes, I opened my English play list and listened. Its been ages haven’t heard a thing.. Arabic took part of my daily life, and so I gave up on English just like how I gave up listening to ELS, gave up DXing, gave up English books, gave up phoning friends..

But wonder why, today while listening to the songs at random, it sounded much prettier than usual. The same play list, same usual rhyme.. but it was sweeter.
Was it that I missed my songs? Or missed myself listening to them? Or just missed any sort of the slightest change in life?

There is always something missing. Something I can’t define. Something I need but can’t find. Can’t know where to start searching or whom to ask.
There are people I need in my life, but when I need them the most, they are lost. Lost in life or the wider space. They are no longer here.. and I keep pitying the moments passing.

Regreting is one of my finest traits.
I try to cut it down, but of no use. You know what, sometimes that inner call tells me never to regret. Just be happy, you are still having the choice to do mistakes.
Would you believe it is so..?!

Hmm, blubbering again and again.. I do not have someone to talk to tonight, while I am in bad need to uncharged..
No, actually there are a lot on my list, but I am appearing offline as usual. Just not in the mood for talking seriously, even though I would dye to call the 1st number on my mobile whoever s/he is.

Sometimes I believe “lasto adri” or “I do not know” is the best title I got for myself after “Blue”.. I am sad without knowing what I want for real or what would turn me high again. I want to be attractive, smart, friendly, cultured, wise… I do not know… other moments I think the best thing I have in life is to keep the people I cherish till forever. But always, forever rushes very fast.

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Movie time..

It appears to me that I am in the mood for movies now. Lots of them. Just checking my brother’s PC to find over 20 movies he downloaded and never mentioned anything about!
So here it goes. Now I am watching “Muhammed - Legacy of a Prophet”; then on my check list I’d follow by “V.For.Vendetta” and “The.Lake.House”

Hmm, these are the names that attracted my attention. I might try “Syriana” according to AG’s suggestion, though I’m not very much enthusiastic. Enough blood I’ve watched in “Munich” (by the way, I don’t know why I didn’t mention that movie previously.. guess me should).. and there is “Pride.and.Prejudice” another hit I watched couple of months earlier, and “Serendipity” that was my best of all. (guess I mentioned “Serendipity” yet in the other space that was deleted some time ago)

On the same folder there are some other names left like “The omen”, “the polar express” and other animation movies. I love animations. The best of all the best for me was “Anastasia”. I searched for it hell of times online but didn’t find a proper one with proper number of seeds to download! However, every now and then I try my luck till I have it and watch over and over and over and over…..

Still, I insist, me not movies fan. TV was and will be my worst enemy. Yet on the other hand, from time to time you have to go up to real life a bit. So now, it’s enough imaginations, and let me continue “Muhammed - Legacy of a Prophet” in peace.
In the next days I’d sure be writing something about it, it’s a good watch..

Yalla, wish me pleasant watching
Bye..

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Life is too short to wonder about my mistakes.

According to someone’s advice, yesterday I watched the Japanese movie “In the mood for love”. Hmm, the movie is OK and a good watch provided you are an Asian culture fan. Else don't risk; you’d hate your life and the living.
The movie had few problems with me due the subtitle hassle. It was a Japanese movie with Spanish dub :D without English subtitle. And despite the .avi , I couldn’t play it on wmp or jet audio or real or anything! Had to download VLC and DIVx6 and still the subtitles I fetched won’t play .. after hell of trials, it worked,, and I was happy ;)

The rhyme of the movie is very slow, and would get on your nerve. Even the ending itself was some stupid crap. However, I liked the story much. It’s all about 2 people, a he and a she. They were living in the same building and discovered they are identical in every single detail. Starting by their favorite dish.. to their interests ..etc. even to their amazement, they discovered their partners were cheating on them and guess what.. Together!
So, all the time they were actually trying helping themselves to get out of the problem. Ironically they found themselves in the problem. They didn’t wish to be like them, but there were them.. soo..
I won’t tell the ending, for if anyone interested to watch it though. And still I am on my word.. go watch it if you like such films. The Asian ones are almost like a documentary, not like usual American movies, but they got a message after all, and a new story with a twist. Plus the most favorite thing to me, their movies are very very very clean. I haven’t seen a single one rated (apart from the big joke of latest BYJ April snow, it was an utter failure).

The best 2 things in the movie, the OST, a real hit and few dialogues… here is one of them

> I’ve had enough of the gossip.
>> We know it's not true, so why worry?
> I used to think that too, and it didn't worry me. But l was wrong. You won't leave your husband. So I’d rather go away.
>> I didn't think you'd fall in love with me.
> I didn't either. I was only curious to know how it started. Now I know. Feelings can creep up just like that.

Ps:

• I loved the protagonist’s dressing a lot.. why do not we have such style in Egypt?
• The title was said by the hero, and I think it very true..
• I think, I’m going to have a 2nd watch other time..

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A mere question

When I am in the mood for a dance.. would you take my hands?

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May you have a pleasent day

Don't underestimate the value of your friends
Don't take for granted your family
A walk on the beach, glory of the sea
Sweet satisfaction of an excellent tea

Don't overlook romance or the joy of a spring
The glow in your children's eyes or the happiness they bring
A fine wine, a good book, dancing cheek to cheek
Warm conversation over an excellent tea

The destination is the journey, not the journey's end
So be where you are
Be well, my friend

Share your smile with someone, take time to laugh
Be curious, be bold, be strong and steadfast
Respect yourself, kindness is the key
Put a little love in your excellent tea

This song was sent to me long ago by a friend, and so I tend to remember always :)
and try as possible to share its charming beauty with all I know

Excellent Tea (click to download)- James T Slater

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Life SUX

I never wished to be a heron of a story as much as I wished to be today.. I read the whole thing and felt like “this is it, I wish to be there” but there was no hints if I can be or can not. There was no guide lines showing direction for a back door. There was no glimpse of a hope.
Sometimes you are doomed to live a story of your own, without a proper escape to go somewhere greener on the other side.. and without the slightest dream someone might be wishing to share you in it as well..

I try not to fetch things away form my hand, but they always come teasing the every bit of me.. I can't have my dreams, I can't go to them and they never come.. And always leave me in that state...

Life SUX and I hate it..

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Today's wish

There are moments in life when you miss someone so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real!
Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do.
May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, enough hope to make you happy.

Author unknown

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Today's quote

"Thou great star! What would be thy happiness if thou hadst not those for whom thou shinest!"

Thus spoke Zarathustra

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Expect respect...

I love this post by Hope..

Here are parts of what my son, who is an engineering sophomore in the States, told me in a recent phone call:

Our religion has good things in it, but people have reduced it to "this is haram, and this is haram". People are only interested in the rituals, and even those are performed without spirit, and they know nothing of religion beyond that. We have no morals and no ethics. We do not really value human beings, work or science, even if we say we do. That's the difference between us and them. That's why we are so backwards, we do not even have a clue!

We are all about how things look like, people put an act all the time. We are all about bragging about what we have and not what we are.

You know all the things you used to tell me over and over again.Well, I used to think why is my mom so different from all the others. But you know what, there are many people like you here. People who think that a car is good enough if it can take you from point A to point B.

Giving a dollar to the mosque instead of buying a coke, makes me feel good, and I am losing weight.

You've been telling me all these things all along, but I had to hear them from my Professor to get convinced!

I miss you, but I am glad I am here. I am learning new stuff everyday, and what I am learning is really interesting. I get a chance to do research too, and that's a real opportunity.

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Smile..

You sometimes smile, not for a reason, but you miss yourself while smiling. You smile for the smile's sack :)

You might be depressed, down or whatever, and you smile pitying yourself..
You smile for remembering a friend, a quotation or an incident.. listening to your song.. finishing a book.. reading a post.. or even seeing a beautiful something, and may be for the over beauty, you might find nothing is left for you to do but praise ALLAH and smile..

It might be one hot, or rainy day when you hate yourself the most, but meet a smile, a single smile that would turn the whole thing upside down..
You smile for a kid smiling,, or for dew on a morning flower.. or you smile for a quite breeze passed you by ..
Or may be you'd smile for something you thought of or wrote..

You’ll be smiling, and do not notice you are.. but once the people tell you how gorgeous you look like while smiling,,, you'll remember to smile always,,
then remind me to smile as well..

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Today

-- On a hot summer night, would you offer your throat to the wolf with the red
roses?
-- Will he offer me his mouth?
-- Yes

So it’s been this day for everything. YUP! . you know, somehow no matter how life went on rushing, or insanely fast or even slow. You still keep on searching for this tiny corner you’d find yourself sitting waiting for you to come on by and start to move on together again. Sometimes, a bar of choco would do, sometimes listening to your favorite CD or holding a book or talking to a friend or even gossiping about someone you like. Its just, as I always say, forget about the big things and focus on the small ones, these ones what really count.

-- Will he offer me his teeth?
-- Yes

Today morning was strange. Got to wake up really early for a college meeting to have a project brain storming. And so our meeting was around 9 then postponed to 10, while in fact I got out of my home reaching the place at 10. :D was about 1 hour behind. Anyways, luckily we found the sub-lecturer around to explain a little bit of what we’d to be doing, and un-expectedly we had some funny stuff going on from here and there. When it was our time to return back. Suddenly we thought of hanging out, and YES we did!

-- Will he offer me his Jews?
-- yes

I went with Bavalova and B. to some restaurant down town, where we ate in the street and even drunk some soft drinks near by a kiosk where we sat on the pavement in the middle of the road under the extremely burning sun, but it was hell fun. Fun to the extend we weren’t imagining. But somehow, sometimes you always need something, I won’t say wild, but may I say un-usual to your life. Something you don’t always do every now or then not for t he sake of anything but.. to steel some moments of enjoyment in your life..

-- will he offer me his Hunger?
-- yes

anyways, as I returned home I was like dead tired, and couldn’t help sleeping when,, when I got this phone call of my dear G. She asked to go out walking, when I said “what the hell, OK”
Some more minutes later we were down walking :D .. was fun still. I mean, we aren’t that very close friends to say, but we got some things in common after all. Even some friends. Actually –more than some- friends. We’ve been gossiping all day may be. Walking around 3 hours or so non-stop, and promised to meet again sooooon, but next time for the pooool.. lets just enjoy our time more and more *evil laugh*

-- Again, will he offer me his hunger?
-- YES
-- And will he starve
without me?
-- YES

Retuned back home, very late in fact, and tired as never before to discover I can’t even post this little something since no DSL around. Soo, I’ve watched TV. To my amazement there was this Arabic movie I’ve been told about a lot before but never saw it for real “el selm wl t3ban”. Can’t argue that is a nice *nice* movie, not that exceptionally beautiful something, or may be its been me who do not feel amazed with things quite easily as before. And could be me, who is not fond of romance as before. I mean, I was talking with someone some time ago and reached the conclusion that life is not always the life we think, and it will still be kept as a mystery, one day up and next down. And what makes it quite unique, is the one thing that made you up today might be the reason to make you down tomorrow.. I don’t know.. but like, like you want to eat something salty at a time so badly, but what after you eat it??… nothing after all
And that what G. confirmed to me today as well when she said a phrase, I do not believe I’d forget “love is an over rated feeling” .. and yeah, why not take this theory in practice??

Looks I’m going hallucinating, its been a tiring day, completely adorable, beautiful and energetic… its just our lives do not always allow us this self space.. but sooner or later.. sooner or later we’d feel the peace..

-- And does he love me?
-- Yes
-- Yes

------------------------------------------------------------------
Quotes from the song “You Took the Words Right Out of My Mouth” – Meatloaf
And wonder why I ever did…

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:)

You can not see this logo and not smile..

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Today my heart feels extra sad…

Forget about people, forget about suffocating time and usual stress.. forget about the normal stupid talks or the random lame actions.. forget about the world’s politics or the internal corrupt..
I know the world would still keep turning and the sun would rise again from the east… but I can’t stop my heart from feeling sadness all thru..
Yesterday we had to give up on our flat to live in that new one that I still can’t love… and today.. my father will sell our car for a new wider one !!

I can still remember the day I opened our x-flat’s balcony, was about 4 or 5 years old, when I saw a small little red car under , my father was outside one door waving with one hand and peeping with the other… when my mother cuddled me in her warm arms and whispered “say hello to our new car..”.. we all were smiling then..
It shared… no.. ‘She’ shared a lot of beautiful memories… 1st time to go to school.. and even 1st day at college… our everyday ride to school with “eza3t el Quran” playing in the morning, and “El bernamg el mosiqi” while going back home!! You know that I loved radios because of that! … it was all about my fascination with the music played in the musical program that I urged my father to buy my 1st pocket radio.. then life went on..

We’ve called ‘her’ many names.. Sometimes “Zoba” according to the old song by Mahmoud Yassin “7elwa ya zoba” .. then changed it to “Batta”.. don’t remember the reason behind that one actually.. and there was “Za2zo2a” as well.. for how small the car looked like between other passing by cars along the way.. but we never cared for how small , beautiful or even modern the car was, as long as it shared our small family’s warmth and laughter’s..
Now…. It would be all gone and buried away except in our hearts..

I remember when we used to go to the beach with our uncles, we used to race who’ll be faster under 80 km/hr.. yeah!.. w enjoyed slow speeds.. it gave us more chance to cheer together!!!
And yeah, the day we had to drive my cousine before her wedding party… it was an extra cool experience peeping all thru the way… and yes I remember now my graduation party drive… now my brother won’t have it .. and his heart is breaking as much as I am, and may be even more..

So sad when you have to give up on what you like and claim its life!! You start by giving up things, then giving up places, people then traits … and at the end you find .. you’ve lost yourself in between..
How dull, stupid, awful and disgusting life is after all.. when I have to give up and forget in order to live.. !!

PS: father, So sorry if I strengthened a feeling towards you… but can’t forgive your new decisions.. can’t forgive you at all…

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A walk with a Country Waltz

Its been 3 days back to back listening to the same musical piece “Country waltz” .. and still can’t interpret how pure I feel.. as if, as if I’ve been touched by a sentimental angle all of a sudden!!
I’ve turned very sensitive lately; I’ve taken a lot of un-reasonable decisions; some passed by safely yet some left a crack inside. We’ve had a fight; we’ve left each other for a while. Friends turned their backs to each other, wore vague masks and mysterious identities. But life went on, as it will always do..After the storm and the clashing waves, the sea returns as peaceful as we’ve knew life long.. after the storm and the clashing waves, the skies looks as beautiful as if its her 1st time date with the greener earth, humming a silent melody that fills the air then fly all around the space invading our souls, and taking us to a far far better place we’ve never dreamt of before.
Friends do make up together again and fights settle to rest, only when.. Inner peace and beauty prevails.

I open my play list again, and set “country waltz” as the one and only song to hear all day long, only then I feel I’ve been touched by a sentimental angle and a heavenly melody invades my soul..

Peace

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Windmills of MY mind...

I had talk to blubber again, but as I sat on my PC, I found me changing the music to this song by "Jose Feliciano".. Somehow I feel, I have these windmills in my mind at the moment.. and yet, i have no clue.. .. wish YOU enjoy the music, the words and the enchanting voice of Feliciano..

round
Like a circle in a spiral
Like a wheel within a wheel
Never ending or beginning
On an ever-spinning reel
Like a snowball down a mountain
Or a carnival balloon
Like a carousel that's turning
Running rings around the moon
Like a clock whose hands are sweeping
Past the minutes of its face
And the world is like an apple
Whirling silently in space
Like the circles that you find
In the windmills of your mind

Like a tunnel that you follow
To a tunnel of its own
Down a hollow to a cavern
Where the sun has never shone
Like a door that keeps revolving
In a half-forgotten dream
Or the ripples from a pebble
Someone tosses in a stream
Like a clock whose hands are sweeping
Past the minutes of its face
And the world is like an apple
Whirling silently in space

Like the circles that you find
In the windmills of your mind

Keys that jingle in your pocket
Words that jangle in your head
Why did summer go so quickly?
Was it something that you said?
Lovers walk along a shore
And leave their footprints in the sand
Is the sound of distant drumming
Just the fingers of your hand?
Pictures hanging in a hallway
And the fragment of a song
Half-remembered names and faces
But to whom do they belong?
When you knew that it was over
You were suddenly aware
That the autumn leaves were turning
To the colour of her hair

Like a circle in a spiral
Like a wheel within a wheel
Never ending or beginning
On an ever-spinning reel
As the images unwind
Like the circles that you find
In the windmills of your mind

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feeling liking it today :) .. *Enjoy*

Feelings, nothing more than feelings,
Trying to forget my feelings of love.
Teardrops rolling down on my face,
Trying to forget my feelings of love.
Feelings, for all my life I'll feel it.
I wish I've never met you, girl;
You'll never come again.

Feelings, feelings
Like I've never lost you
And feelings like I've never
Have you again in my heart.
Feelings, for all my life I'll feel it.


Feelings...

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Blubbering out

Sometimes I think who to choose, someone who cares for you too much but you care for a little; or someone who cares a little but you care for too much?!
What a misery, sometimes I feel..

The day before today was super cool *the assessment center*, I made neat new friends from collage.. *actually I am making new friends these days like I never did before :S .. masha2 ALLAH* . Today as well was nice. I dropped a lecture to watch the conference’s audition, and though I didn’t catch it still *they were very late*, but I enjoyed my time having some good laughs with wonderful people. A pity they’ll graduate next year, may God bless them. :)

I was OK, most of the time, though visited by the above thought from time to time so I’d be absent minded sailing to far far away land. Could be the never land, and could be the place I’ve made to resort whenever I feel I want to leave the crowds.

However, nice time always flies, except for 3 things that really made me feel un-comfortable. I need to feel more confident. I need to believe I can make it myself, I am good –if not best-.. umm, why do I feel I’D never be the one!

It was a horrible feeling that I might lose something I posses because I am lower than someone else, while actually I know I am not, at least in other points!
Do I make any sense?!
Suddenly the lights went dim!
My feeling of possession! One big black dot I have.. and though I do not show, but I know deep down how hurted I feel when someone shares something so.. SO dear to my heart.. even if it’s a smile I reckon its mine.. even if it’s a laugh I know I was addressed with… even if, even if it was a hello I was waiting for day long :) ..

As if my misery is between 2 options, what I want and what I can get.. what I like and what I might like.. and the quest goes so on, so forth..

The 2^nd thing was when this stupid person started to make fun of me. Actually he wasn’t making fun of me, but was trying to be funny in a stupid way that pissed me off! None the less, the 3^rd thing was when I remembered.. “ah well, I got my mid-term exam tomorrow so I’d better leave the place and runnnn to continue my studies”
*no need to mention, I have to run now as well :S *

Tomorrow is the opening of the conference AT LAST! And all the memories I had through out the previous 7 month or so suddenly flashing in front of my eyes. Our 1^st meeting, our training days, mecca center, alaa’s laptop, photoshop, GMs, days in collage, the booth, the welcome, the flyers and banners, the poster I took from the college’s walls, the dropped lectures, the night chit chats, the life time friends I had, the new comers into my life, and the ones I strengthened my relation with though we’ve been there for some time..

As if, after all those months of work, we can finally lay down to sleep. We can finally have peace within. No need for the rush to get some signs from this or that. No need for waking up till very late doing an un-finished task. No need for fights and No need for broken hearts.

Saying “bye bye” to ACES 2006 .. with some tears covering joy, excitement and anxiety for the 3 coming days.
So hard to have someone dear going to leave, but much harder to see him leaving already …

Sometimes I re-think about my thought.. Sometimes I thank God, I have options to choose between still, although others got nothing to have.

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Thank U Bibo for the song :)

An Innocent man -- Billy Joel
Some people stay far away from the door
If there’s a chance of it opening up
They hear a voice in the hall outside
And hope that it just passes by
Some people live with the fear of a touch
And the anger of having been a fool
They will not listen to anyone
So nobody tells them a lie
I know you’re only protecting yourself
I know you’re thinking of somebody else
Someone who hurt you
But I’m not above
Making up for the love
You’ve been denying you could ever feel
I’m not above doing anything
To restore your faith if I can
Some people see through the eyes of the old
Before they ever get a look at the young
I’m only willing to hear you cry
Because I am an innocent man
I am an innocent man
Oh yes I am

Some people say they will never believe
Another promise they hear in the dark
Because they only remember too well
They heard somebody tell them before
Some people sleep all alone every night
Instead of taking a lover to bed
Some people find that it’s easier to hate
Than to wait anymore
I know you don’t want to hear what I say
I know you’re gonna keep turning away
But I’ve been there and if I can survive
I can keep you alive
I’m not above going through it again
I’ve not above being cool for a while
If you’re cruel to me I’ll understand
Some people run from a possible fight
Some people figure they can never win
And although this is a fight I can lose
The accused is an innocent man
I am an innocent man
Oh yes I am
An innocent man

You know you only hurt yourself out of spite
I guess you’d rather be a martyr tonight
That’s your decision
But I’m not below
Anybody I know
If there’s a chance of resurrecting a love
I’m not above going back to the start
To find out where the heartache began
Some people hope for a miracle cure
Some people just accept the world as it is
But I’m not willing to lay down and die
Because I am an innocent man
I am an innocent man
Oh yes I am
An innocent man

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Feeling extremely low..

After yesterday’s talk with Bibo, I felt how ugly and un-fair life might be. I needed a 5 minuets confrontation with myself to discover I am fooling myself intentionally, then runny away in the same sequence waiting for the same fairy tale!

I never learn, and guess I won’t!!

The dream looks so beautiful from far away.. and even more beautiful from inside.. feeling extremely happy, may be walking on clouds, and may be wandering in a place never existed yet… knowing that someone out there…. mm

but then you’ll have to wake up as soon as you log off, because simply it was only a vision of a fake wish you prayed for, from all of your heart to be true,, but sadly it wasn’t and it will not..

So you end up stuck between what you wish for and what you have! Torn between what you want and what you should do!

Do I make sense..? does anyone listen..? does anyone understand?.. I wish not..

For eventually I know I’ll leave this to welcome my very own self again between the very same empty corners of my empty room. Having the same deadly thoughts spinning in my head. Hurting my heart sometimes, and cracking my soul the other times.. yet, the clock won’t stop ticking.. and the circle would never end..

May we have peace sometime.. may we reach where we wish..

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Today's wisdom

Dedicated especially to some friends, I owe them alot :)

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Another lost msg...

When I’m there I feel like home. Feel like I’ve found the warmth I was seeking. I’ve found the love and passion I lack. I know I can fly out there to the 7^th sky. I can – I know I can- be the one thing I wish myself to be, whenever I am there..
I can hear me singing without songs
I can see my dancing without music
I can feel me happy, spreading a bright and shining look..

I like it knowing that we share the same place in the heart.. I like it knowing that some where out there we can be together for long without disturbance or poking noses.. away from eyes.. away from nagging thoughts.
Hiding from myself to you..
Only if I can .. I might leave everything and just spend the rest there, where I know we are together….
I might be dreaming, I might be hallucinating, but one thing I know.. one thing above all I can swear I am sure..
There, I’ve found a part of me lost time ago… and to different places went astray..

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I got it by email

Sonnet 43 - How do I love thee? Let me count the ways

XLIII

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

I love thee to the depth and breadth and height

My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight

For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.

I love thee to the level of everyday's

Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.

I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;

I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.

I love thee with the passion put to use

In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.

I love thee with a love I seemed to lose

With my lost saints,—I love thee with the breath,

Smiles, tears, of all my life!—and, if God choose,

I shall but love thee better after death.

Elizabeth Barrett Browning

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Talking loud..

Torching the embassies in Lebanon and Syria is a major stupid attitude from some Muslim extremists mostly youth; which I do not support by any means!!..
YES! The Prophet Mohamed would have never asked us to frighten citizens. Remember, in wars he used to ask his soldiers never to hurt a female or a child or an old man… He even asked his soldiers never to cut a tree. (And that was at times of war)… and even when his people used to hurt him tremendously, in addition to his companies, He (pbuh) never thought of a destructive attitude.. EVER!!

Some Muslims apologized for torching the embassies, and so I wondered for a while, should I or should I not apologize as well?. YES! What happened reflect a barbaric attitude, and forces the west to believe how ignorant, radical and uncivilized the Muslims are. YET! I can’t deny that my feeling -as a Muslim- was hurt and directly offended. Making fun of the Prophet leaves no excuses for the Denmark or any other country which published the same photos in an act of solidarity!
And so I decided, if Muslims were thought to be ignorant for their late attitude (with free speech I mean), then the west looks even more ignorant for their behavior (their behavior in the sense that: They didn’t search properly before presenting these cartoons.) They got modern technology, science, whatever.. and still accepted to work on their pre-drawn mind-images without investigating what is right and what is wrong. And so I thought, the west and the Islamic world are even now.. so no apologies from my side *sorry my friends if I let you down* .

Some would think that Muslims over reacted for a matter of free speech – as the news paper claims- but let me tell you something, at times of the prophet, his companies were ready to sacrifices their lives, their children, their wives.. they were ready to sacrifices whatever they’d cherish only for one thought “we have the duty for defending Prophet Muhamed”. And now it’s our turn and we- including me- should be doing something.
Therefore, if I was yesterday with boycotting 50%, today I am with it 200% and even more. Something should be done concerning this. What is sacred should be kept sacred. What is holy should be left holy. And let me ask this simple Question again: “what happens if a foreign newspaper thought of denying the holocaust?”
*I am leaving My Reader to answer.*
But that makes non sense, we are making a comparison between an incident that touches a group of people, and the Prophet of the 2nd largest religion almost in all Europe –if not the whole world-.

All what I concluded from the whole thing after all is that: there is yet another form of racial discrimination taking place, but this time for the Muslims!

Time to go..
May Allah’s peace and blessings be upon you..

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These cartoons don't defend free speech, they threaten it

Written by: Simon Jenkins
I think, therefore I am, said the philosopher. Fine. But I think, therefore I speak? No way.
Nobody has an absolute right to freedom. Civilisation is the story of humans sacrificing freedom so as to live together in harmony. We do not need Hobbes to tell us that absolute freedom is for newborn savages. All else is compromise.
Should a right-wing Danish newspaper have carried the derisive images of Muhammad? No. Should other newspapers have repeated them and the BBC teasingly “flashed” them to prove its free-speech virility? No. Should governments apologise for them or ban them from repeating the offence? No, but that is not the issue.
A newspaper is not a monastery, its mind blind to the world and deaf to reaction. Every inch of published print reflects the views of its writers and the judgment of its editors. Every day newspapers decide on the balance of boldness, offence, taste, discretion and recklessness. They must decide who is to be allowed a voice and who not. They are curbed by libel laws, common decency and their own sense of what is acceptable to readers. Speech is free only on a mountain top; all else is editing.
Despite Britons’ robust attitude to religion, no newspaper would let a cartoonist depict Jesus Christ dropping cluster bombs, or lampoon the Holocaust. Pictures of bodies are not carried if they are likely to be seen by family members. Privacy and dignity are respected, even if such restraint is usually unknown to readers. Over every page hovers a censor, even if he is graced with the title of editor.
To imply that some great issue of censorship is raised by the Danish cartoons is nonsense. They were offensive and inflammatory. The best policy would have been to apologise and shut up. For Danish journalists to demand “Europe-wide solidarity” in the cause of free speech and to deride those who are offended as “fundamentalists . . . who have a problem with the entire western world” comes close to racial provocation. We do not go about punching people in the face to test their commitment to non-violence. To be a European should not involve initiation by religious insult.
Many people seem surprised that a multicultural crunch should have come over religion rather than race. Most incoming migrants from the Muslim world are in search of work and security. They have accepted racial discrimination and cultural subordination as the price of admission. Most Europeans, however surreptitiously, regard that subordination as reasonable.
What Muslims did not expect was that admission also required them to tolerate the ridicule of their faith and guilt by association with its wildest and most violent followers in the Middle East. Islam is an ancient and dignified religion. Like Christianity its teaching can be variously interpreted and used for bloodthirsty ends, but in itself Islam has purity and simplicity. Part of that purity lies in its abstraction and part of that abstraction is an aversion to icons.
The Danes must have known that a depiction of Allah as human or the prophet Muhammad as a terrorist would outrage Muslims. It is plain dumb to claim such blasphemy as just a joke concordant with the western way of life. Better claim it as intentionally savage, since that was how it was bound to seem. To adapt Shakespeare, what to a Christian “is but a choleric word”, to a Muslim is flat blasphemy.
Of all the casualties of globalism, religious sensibility is the most hurtful. I once noticed in Baghdad airport an otherwise respectable Iraqi woman go completely hysterical when an American guard set his sniffer dog, an “unclean” animal, on her copy of the Koran. The soldier swore at her: “Oh for Christ’s sake, shut up!” She was baffled that he cited Christ in defence of what he had done.
Likewise, to an American or British soldier, forcibly entering the women’s quarters of an Arab house at night is normal peacekeeping. To an Arab it is abhorrent, way beyond any pale. Nor do Muslims understand the West’s excusing such actions, as does Tony Blair, by comparing them favourably with those of Saddam Hussein, as if Saddam were the benchmark of international behaviour.
It is clearly hard for westerners to comprehend the dismay these gestures cause Muslims. The question is not whether Muslims should or should not “grow up” or respect freedom of speech. It is whether we truly want to share a world in peace with those who have values and religious beliefs different from our own. The demand by foreign journalists that British newspapers compound their offence shows that moral arrogance is as alive in the editing rooms of northern Europe as in the streets of Falluja. That causing religious offence should be regarded a sign of western machismo is obscene.
The traditional balance between free speech and respect for the feelings of others is evidently becoming harder to sustain. The resulting turbulence can only feed the propaganda of the right to attack or expel immigrants and those of alien culture. And it can only feed the appetite of government to restrain free speech where it really matters, as in criticising itself.
There is little doubt that had the Home Office’s original version of its religious hatred bill been enacted, publishing the cartoons would in Britain have been illegal. There was no need to prove intent to cause religious hatred, only “recklessness”. Even as amended by parliament the bill might allow a prosecution to portray the cartoons as insulting and abusive and to dismiss the allowed defence that the intention was to attack ideas rather than people.
The same zest for broad-sweep censorship was shown in Charles Clarke’s last anti-terrorism bill. Its bid (again curbed by parliament) was to outlaw the “negligent”, even if unintended, glorification of terrorism. It wanted to outlaw those whose utterances might have celebrated or glorified a violent change of government, whether or not they meant to do so. Clarke proposed to list “under order” those historical figures he regarded as terrorists and those he decided were “freedom fighters”. The latter, he intimated, might include Irish ones. This was historical censorship of truly Stalinist ambition. By such men are we now ruled.
That a modern home secretary should seek such powers illustrates the danger to which a collapse of media self-restraint might lead. Last week there were demands from some (not all) Muslim leaders for governments to “apologise” for the cartoons and somehow forbid their dissemination. It was a demand that Jack Straw, the foreign secretary, commendably rejected. It assumed that governments had in some sense allowed the cartoons and were thus in a position to atone for them. Many governments might be happy to fall into this trap and seek to control deeds for which they may have to apologise. The glib assumption of blame where none exists feeds ministerial folie de grandeur, as with Blair’s ludicrous 1997 apology for the Irish potato famine.
In all matters of self-regulation the danger is clear. If important institutions, in this case the press, will not practise self-discipline then governments will practise it for them. Ascribing evil consequences to religious faith is a sure way of causing offence. Banning such offence is an equally sure way for a politician to curry favour with a minority and thus advance the authoritarian tendency. The present Home Office needs no such encouragement.
Offending an opponent has long been a feature of polemics, just as challenging the boundaries of taste has been a feature of art. It is rightly surrounded by legal and ethical palisades. These include the laws of libel and slander and concepts such as fair comment, right of reply and not stirring racial hatred. None of them is absolute. All rely on the exercise of judgment by those in positions of power. All rely on that bulwark of democracy, tolerance of the feelings of others. This was encapsulated by Lord Clark in his defining quality of civilisation: courtesy.
Too many politicians would rather not trust the self-restraint of others and would take the power of restraint onto themselves. Recent British legislation shows that a censor is waiting round every corner. This past week must have sent his hopes soaring because of the idiot antics of a few continental journalists.
The best defence of free speech can only be to curb its excess and respect its courtesy.

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Shop around the corner

Phew, I’ve just finished watching one of the most beautiful movies I’ve ever knew.. “U’ve got mail” can’t u smell the charm coming out of this 3 words phrase.. U’ve.. got.. mail.. aww!
I wondered a lot why do I consider it my ultimate favorite movie of all times. Sometimes I fully believe that I am “Kathleen Kelly” herself. I know you might think it’s a silly thought to believe, but I feel the connection between me and her all through different roads of life. Especially this phrase where she was reading a mail sent to “Joe Fox”:

“Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life. Well, not small, but circumscribed. And sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven't been brave? So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book, when shouldn't it be the other way around? I don't really want an answer. I just want to send this cosmic question out into the void. So good night, dear void.”

How many times I asked myself that specific part and in that specific order?! Mm.. yeah, I do a lot.. Using the words “Dear void”, “dear friend”,,, all those are hers. Even having that taste of understanding people without a single word!.. I’m not in a state to brag about it, but really those who knows me in person understand the feeling senses I got; just like “Kathleen Kelly”..
If for any chance I got to live a movie, instantly I’ll choose to be her in that adorable movie, even if it went forever.. I won’t mind, I won’t mind at all. *especially it was our favorite movie, but alas, you no longer care :( , though you’re still the best my friend*

- You're crazy about him...
- Yes. I am.
- Then why don't you run off with him? What are you waiting for?
- I don't actually know him.
- Really?
- We only know each other - oh, God, you're not going to believe this...
- Let me guess. From the Internet.
- Yes.
- You've got mail.
- Yes.
- Three very powerful words.
- Yes.

Today I was off to another meeting in collage; well it wasn’t very beautiful in fact. I mean I didn’t enjoy it to the fullest, though our team was awarded for the best team work this month. Mm.. I guess we deserve such a thing though it’s not that important, we already love each other this way or another. May be we’ve been out of getting in touch lately *life always ruins the purest of all pure moments* but somehow I don’t mind. I’ll still love our moments together, and cherish them deep in my heart :)
Ah, but the best thing that really happened then, was the book. Oops! Hadn’t I tell you I was waiting for a book, let me check the previous post..
….
Yeah! I did mention that. I asked a friend to buy it for me, actually Sheryos was. And to my surprise he got it right the 2nd day.. WOHOOW! I actually started reading it already *quite enthusiastic, U bet ;) * but apparently the writer uses a difficult language style I am not used to, so I guess going to take some more time until I’ll get used to it. :) .. but just to remember the note: “I thank U ya sheryos for that, u’ve added one more beautiful gesture to my day”
But the comment I’ll never forget in my entire life is from our AC head, he just told me: “u talk to people as if they are a sound source, nothing more or less. U focus as if you’re listening to radio.” .. Excellent remark I didn’t pay attention to though it’s really MY-VERY-OWN-SELF!!!

- When you read a book as a child, it becomes a part of your identity in a way that no other reading in your whole life does.

Then after the meeting I waited for the bus on the bus stop with my lovely friend, Bavalova. We’ve waited and waited and waited.. nearly all the people left while we were standing in the exact place when suddenly an idea jumped in both of our minds at once *Lets party*. It wasn’t parting in the exact literal meaning, but rather lets have some fun. So I called my mother: “mum we’ll go for a walk right now down town, and we’ll have lunch as well, don’t worry.. ok thanks mum.. byee”
Then TADA, we took the 1st bus and zooooot off down town. We’ve wondered here and there. We ate in the street “Shawrma” then ice cream *surely my favorite flavor was 1st choice :P*. after ice-creaming in that cold weather with loud and wild giggles all through the way we went up stairs in a mall shopping. Actually wasn’t shopping, but rather wondering between cloths shelves :D .. nearly we’ve made fun on each and every single piece we’ve met. YAY! Jumping to my feet now, it was no doubt not-less than LOVELY time together..

-What about you, is there someone else?
-No. No, but, but there's the dream of someone else.

As I returned back home I dashed for a nap about an hour and a half. Dead tired, exhausted, sleep.. blah blah.. When I wake up, “U’ve got mail” was already waiting for me. Made my hot cup of green tea with jasmine, sat on living room’s couch , holding a pillow with lots of handkerchiefs waiting… *sigh* just when the show just begun :)

-You know, sometimes I wonder...
- What?
- Well... if i hadn't been "Fox Books" and you hadn't been "The Shop Around the Corner," and you and I had just met...
- I know.
- Yeah, yeah. I would've asked for your number. And I wouldn't have been able to wait 24 hours before calling you up and saying, Hey, how about... oh, how about some coffee, or drinks, or dinner, or a movie... for as long as we both shall live?

Couple of minutes later I found a friend calling me, we’ve already fixed a date for another going out.. How splendid you’re life goes when you take it to the wildest!
Ah! After I hung up I went to clean the kitchen humming and singing “somewhere over the rainbow” however, looks I made some noise that wake my mother up. She approached and we started some talks and gossips ;) then we sung a song together in the middle of the night. How can I describe the feeling! Just do you have a word in the dictionary that would clearly describe the feeling of flying way up high.
I love You mum..
Hadn’t I told you I believe I am “Kathleen Kelly”.. and I now believe that ever more, though entirely different versions but.. for the same copy..

-Don't cry, Shopgirl. Don't cry.
- I wanted it to be you. I wanted it to be you so badly.

Good night Cairo, it was splendid living today

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Wonder why I am in that mood Today.. Talk to You next post isA..


Ah, make the most of what we yet may spend,
Before we too into the Dust descend;
Dust into Dust, and under Dust to lie,
Sans Wine, sans Song, sans Singer, and--sans End!


There was the Door to which I found no Key;
There was the Veil through which I might not see:
Some little talk awhile of ME and THEE
There was--and then no more of THEE and ME.


When You and I behind the Veil are past,
Oh, but the long, long while the World shall last,
Which of our Coming and Departure heeds
As the Sea's self should heed a pebble-cast.


Of threats of Hell and Hopes of Paradise!
One thing at least is certain--This Life flies;
One thing is certain and the rest is Lies;
The Flower that once has blown for ever dies.


The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ,
Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit
Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line,
Nor all your Tears wash out a Word of it.


With Earth's first Clay They did the Last Man knead,
And there of the Last Harvest sow'd the Seed:
And the first Morning of Creation wrote
What the Last Dawn of Reckoning shall read.



The Rubaiyat of Omar El Khayyam
Translated by Edward J. Fitzgerald

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A reply..

In answer to Al Sharief’s question: “why you love this "love story"?? The Crush? The Commitment? The Challenge? The Sadness? Dystaney? "

And so I’d reply:
I haven’t sincerely thought of answering such question before. In fact I never thought why I love/hate something in particular before; I only go after my instinct and never fetch reasons. However, I’ll try to brainstorm in this post.

For long I had this wondering “who’d remember me when I’m not here anymore?” that sometimes I wished that I’d be able to watch people after I die. I know its one gloomy wish to ask for, but…
And look at it this way “What can you say about a twenty-five-year-old girl who died?” A young man’s grief over his beloved *who turned his wife there after* forced him to write a novel for her remembrance. Imagine its a true story; imagine that a “He” whoever he is, wrote a novel only to let the whole world remember “Her” whoever she is, every morning! The idea itself is amazing..

Even further more, I remember when I was a kid *before reading the novel* I heard this famous quote out of it “'Love means not ever having to say you're sorry.”.. then I wondered, is it because when you are in love you have a forgiving heart or because you don’t intentionally try to hurt your partner? I mean is it the action or the reaction that counts?
Then I found the answer its Love Vs. Sorry.. in such a great epic, the word "sorry" itself got no place to exist.. that’s how I felt it..

Even when I reached that line at the end “And then I did what I had never done in his presence, much less in his arms. I cried.” .
The son-father relationship is perfectly put in this novel. I like how he resisted his father to reach out his girl, giving up nearly everything, yet in the end the relationship itself, which was the core of the novel’s dilemma, conquered all. You know when I saw the movie I didn’t focus, or may be I didn’t see this scene this way. Actually most of us were over filled with emotions concerning the “She” dying, but “He” crying was out of our interests!! Nonetheless while reading, I thought of it from a different perspective I haven’t noticed before..

You might accuse me of being a dreamy romantic person, but tell you something, I saw the Arabic imitation (7abebi da2man) but I didn’t like it despite the more romantic atmosphere they tried to add. The background music, the over loving couple, even “Her” death by the sea shore contradicting her normal death in a hospital in the original novel and the lavish luxurious life they had… blah blah..
I just loved it as simple and as ordinary as it was in “Love story”..

You know, years I’ve lived with indescribable impact on me. To the extend that for a while I stopped writing but short stories ending with yet another hereon died!! and still I imagine myself dead sometimes..
Some might say the story is over used –especially for our generation- probably if it was back in the 70’s when it was primarily produced things would have been a little bit different, but I truly doubt. For one thing I’d never forget whenever I see anything connected to that particular story: the twinkles I saw in my mother’s eyes when she 1st introduced the story to me, and the tears I saw when we were sitting watching it together *though she saw it before in theaters* .. it just reminds me with the very same twinkles and tears in every girl’s eyes who is still looking for a dream she keeps in her little heart no matter how old or what nationality she might be..

Sorry for the over detailed reply…
All the best from me to you..

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Getting out of this!!!

It just happened that I wake up today to do some work needed by a friend, then I thought of wondering a bit online. Its been 2 days after my 2nd exam and I need to relax before my 3rd exam and the hardest of all *as you can guess, microwaveeeees :S, w rabna yestor*
Nothing serious happened during the passed days, could be nothing at all. But somehow I am feeling over joyed *thanks to ALLAH*.. to the point I wake up today humming another favorite musical piece “Love story” ..

Good God! Its been 2 days I am searching for this book “Love Story” by “Erich Segal” but of no use!!

I’ve seen that movie more than 3 times and even read the novel twice so far; but somehow I wish to keep the moments of pure feelings I’ve lived through out this story with me forever.

So just a call for help, get me out of this misery, if any one can find me a version for this novel in whichever format and a way to download the movie, I’d be even more than thankful.. **I found it as PDF format, if U want it, I guess U should know who to ask ;) ;) **


Anyways, I’d better go continue studies.. wish me luck :)

PS: please turn your speakers ON * IE users* … I changed the background music from "Romance d'amor" to “love story” theme.. so E.N.J.O.Y

Time to go … 73’s

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